Not you its me

Thoughts that went on in my head while my ex left me after nine years together

Cigarette smoke in the air, alone with my thoughts thinking why am I still here,
My heart is broken without her by my side, nine years gone and I can't even say it was a good ride,
I took her for granted every day I won't lie, who am I to blame her for not giving it one more try,
Moving on opened my eyes to who I really am, a self centered addict who doesn't really give a damn,
She wanted change but that isn't so easy for someone like me, the drugs in this world stole my heart they have the key,
Trying to resist the temptation I'm misled, the only way I see out is a bullet to the head

Reviews

[Lisasview]

One more quick thing..it would be more of a poem rather than a story...

[Lisasview]

Interesting.. I too love to write and only began submitting for the first time ever about a month ago..
Hard to read your poem as it is truly sad..
I am not anyone to give constructive criterium but I do think if you did not run your sentences in one line your poem would read better.
For example your first sentence could actually be three lines..
Cigarette smoke in the air,
alone with my thoughts,
thinking, why am I still here?
So breaking up your lines
with something like that would be more impactful..and the use of punctuation would be good as well..
I did like several of your thoughts..
Lisa

[sette]

so sad to hear that but then if its not really meant to be, then time to move forward