When Smartphone turns into a Public Phone Booth..

This is a tale of woe from my colleague who bought a smart phone home, months back, and I found it hilarious to share! In his words with some spices from my end:P

She's lucky having had a great welcome,

As there was a deficiency of a smart one at home!

Everyone was curious in exploring her smartness,

Hiding my impatience was becoming artless.

 

She's now a moderator for all the calls as per new statute,

That's how my phone turned out a homely public booth!

Soon a fact kept me sleepless and pondering,

Why the scratches multiplied when my sis was handling!

Finally could get to the cause with thorough findings,

Sis being the princess of our home wears heavy Earrings!

 

I started switching the speaker on when sis spoke,

Her loud voice was adequate to give anyone a stroke!

I'd resisted til now, fitting phones with an overcoat -

But watching it suffer those knocks; my heart broke!

 

Her son is a smart chap of just four,

He’s set a record in Temple Run with a heavy score,

His challenge is now to nail it upside down

My poor phone often bounces 'ball-like' on the ground!

 

Now I have no way but to curtail the phone permission,

Finding a strong locking pattern is my new mission!

 

 

 

Reviews

[ANTO]

Deepika this has the makings of a great comedy poem with a little tidying up. The sarcasm of the first stanza is very witty and the sense of frustration with the 'borrowers' of the phone is very well conveyed and not nastily - its done with good grace and humour.
I enjoyed this
My friend, Kimmer, refers to those gadgets as her 'smarter-than-me phone'. xDD

[Deepika]

Thank you so much Anto :) Would be glad to hear any corrections that could make this piece better!

[ANTO]

Can I PM you with that ? :)

[Deepika]

Sure..thanks for your time:)

[Devanshu Rajput]

A very comical write. These are the very conditions, when guests arrive at our home.

A very amusing write.

Devanshu

[Deepika]

True..specially when some stubborn kids arrive :D thanks! :)

[Devanshu Rajput]

Just like in the poem.......xd.......

[Deepika]

:D

[Rounak Jain]

haha. Nice poem. Enjoyed reading this. :)

[Deepika]

Thanks for the reviews :))

[Saddam]

Funny write.............
I enjoy reading it.

[Deepika]

Thank you SSADD :)

[Kuldeep desai]

enjoyed reading it.............ur one of the creative writer that i have seen this site.............

[Deepika]

Thanks a ton Kuldeep :)

[Raja Anjana Kothapalli]

Tooooo Good! :') You made me laugh and thank you for sharing this super good poem Deepika! I enjoyed reading it! :D

[Deepika]

Thank you so much Anjana!Glad you enjoyed it :)

[Tks]

This really got my sides hurting as I laughed :) Technology is indeed a good slave, but a poor master, and I like how you portrayed the way even families are subtly being affected by the overt use of technology.

If I may, your second stanza could be more snappy by shortening its length. This is of course, just my humble opinion, and I do respect your work. In fact, thank you for brightening up my day with these witty pieces, Deepika!

[Deepika]

Yea I too felt the clumsiness of these lines while reading them, but didn't find a better way to cut 'em short without losing the essence that I wanted to actually put in there. Thank you humbly for the suggestion and your valuable words :)

[Roshan Nair]

Comedy poems are something I can never get around writing, this is a great great example of one. Its subtle as well as lucid.. Nice work deepika :) cheers

[Deepika]

Thanks a lot for your precious time and words Roshan :)

[Abilash Uttama]

Again a wonderful piece, you have very unique and creative style. It's always a pleasure to read to your poems and yep, best of luck for your new mission :P

[Deepika]

Haha..Thank you Abilash :):P

[CA Anurag Sharma]

What a delightful read...aise ideas laate kha se ho :)
I am becoming your fan....you have a uniqueness about your out of box thinking.... i seriously havent read such poems.....there is sarcasm, wittiness and great sense of humor in your poems.... this poem too has been smartly written.... good job

[Deepika]

Aww thank you so much Anurag! I'm pleased to hear that:) This particular poem I would dedicate to my colleague as he's the one who has put up with all these miseries XD