Belief vs Reality

I believed love was a beautiful fantasy,

Realized it’s just give and take policy

I believed trust was utterly precious,

Realized it could be truly dangerous

I believed Hard-work pays off well,

Realized without luck it hardly sells

I believed innocent faces were cute,

Realized it’d be a smart Satan’s plot

I believed happiness was achieved by things,

Realized it has to be found from within

I believed mistakes were truly dangerous,

Realized there are no better tutors than those

I believed the greatest asset to be the wealth,

Realized even bigger liability could be the health

I believed everything that glittered was gold,

Realized how easily I could be fooled!

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Devanshu Rajput]

"I believed love was a beautiful fantasy, Realized it’s just give and take policy"

This opening couplet was a beautiful one. It gives us an insight of your futher poem.

"I believed trust was utterly precious,Realized it could be truly dangerous"

This couplet really portrays the truth. But, in case a person has trusted a wrong person.

"I believed Hard-work pays off well, Realized without luck it hardly sells"

True, if there is no luck, then all our efforts are in futile. Bravo!

"I believed innocent faces were cute, Realized it'd be a smart Satan’s plot"

A somewhat similar to second couplet. But, this time regarding the shrouded imposters, who in order to deceive, veil their physiognomy.

"I believed happiness was achieved by things, Realized it has to be found from within"

From this couplet, I find the absence of your fashion of rhyme, that you had employed so far. So, this couplet somewhat breaks the fluidity. Immaterial of that, it also is good. Indeed! If a person, is not happy from inside, then no other caprices or luxuries of world can make him glee.

"I believed mistakes were truly dangerous, Realized there are no better tutors than those"

As, the adage goes," Mistakes, mean you are trying". You have written the ultimate reality of life.

"I believed the greatest asset to be the wealth, Realized even bigger liability could be the health"

As, " Health is wealth", what can be achieved in the absence of health?

At last, a grand concluding couplet:-

"I believed everything that glittered was gold, Realized how easily I could be fooled!"

"Al that glitters is not gold". We should not be mesmerised by only the tip of the iceberg, but we should also get to the bottom of anything.

A very philosophical, write I might say. Collection of 8 couplets, a wonderful job, Deepika.

Devanshu

[Deepika]

Thank you so much Devanshu for your beautiful insight! :)) I'm grateful to you for this elaborate and cognitive review. Not sure if I myself could have justified my work this well. This means a lot :)

[Pushkar Prabhat]

wonderful.......
nothing is ever what it seems.....right?
so many important lessons to be learnt here.....
i loved it!!!!
:)

[Deepika]

True..as we grow up and perceive the world, most of our beliefs start losing ground.Thanks pushkar for dropping by:)

[Pushkar Prabhat]

you are welcome!!! :) :)

[Kristan A. Mohammed]

I really liked this work. Little grammatical errors here and there but they could not take away from how wonderful the piece is. This revealed so many shards of reality that we all must come to see at some point in our lives. And while fantasy may be a wonderful thing, it truly can be utterly dangerous. we need to have a taste of reality. Keep up the good work. Stay inspired.

[Deepika]

Thanks a lot kristan :) That's right, as the saying goes 'Keep your eyes on the stars, but your feet on the ground'

[ANTO]

Deepika this line - "I believed happiness is got by things.." - isn't in the past tense like the other lines which start "I believed..." and kind of threw me a bit. Could I suggest a change to "I believed happiness was achieved by things" ?

Apart from that the poem is sound. It has so many pearls of wisdom and is very cleverly written as a revision of the writers beliefs rather than a rant or a lecture. This tends to persuade rather than seek to convert. As I said, very clever and very readable.
Well done my friend. :)

[Deepika]

Thank you very much Anto for your kind review and for the correction :)) Will edit that!

[ANTO]

YVW Deepika - glad to help :)

[Abilash Uttama]

though it's a matter of perspective but yeah there is a lot of difference between belief and reality. Nice one...

[Deepika]

true that! Thanks Abilash for the review :)

[Abilash Uttama]

welcome :)