DESERTION

DESERTION

A Poem by Betty Hermelee
"

Nature: Haiku

"
Fall, nude trees submit
empty woven nest suspends
wind smacks it to earth
Lone robin quivers
family flock deserts him
he lingers on thin bark
Turmoil shrouds him
eyes flicker like lightning
brown wings flap, he's off!

© 2019 Betty Hermelee


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This is a prime example of one of my mantras -- using verbs that pop makes writing dynamic. Just your title alone had me stunned, such inventiveness, a demanding tone, a sense of outrage! That's powerful personification in a word! The thing I love the most about your poem is that it's the antithesis of all the lovey-dovey autumn-thrills-me poems going on lately. Here you convey a strong sense of abandonment & all your creatures feel indignant & testy to me! (just like me when winter is coming on & the damp cold fires up my aches & pains!) *wink! wink!* Fondly, Margie

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

A wonderfully restrained portrait of a moment in nature. Simple, beautiful, well done!

Posted 4 Years Ago


This is a prime example of one of my mantras -- using verbs that pop makes writing dynamic. Just your title alone had me stunned, such inventiveness, a demanding tone, a sense of outrage! That's powerful personification in a word! The thing I love the most about your poem is that it's the antithesis of all the lovey-dovey autumn-thrills-me poems going on lately. Here you convey a strong sense of abandonment & all your creatures feel indignant & testy to me! (just like me when winter is coming on & the damp cold fires up my aches & pains!) *wink! wink!* Fondly, Margie

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Your well chosen words this wee drama of nature Betty. I like the last two lines.
Alan

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This one may have been inspired by an observed event, or it could be symbolic of a human situation. I wonder why the flock deserted him.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

A sad but brave little robin. He will make it on his own.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

even animals have no home

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on November 22, 2019
Last Updated on November 22, 2019

Author

Betty Hermelee
Betty Hermelee

Black Mountain, NC



About
My love of poetry results from my love of art. As a painter I am able to express myself on a canvas. As a poet my words come from my heart, my moods, sometimes sad, mostly upbeat. I like to use vivid .. more..

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