CHARRED WOOD

Fire, destruction

Her face, soft as celestial clouds

pink cheeks, golden hair, ballerina torso

all marred within seconds.

One eve, she and her family flee like the devil

their house in flames.

Yellow, orange, blue sparks

fling and surge toward the night sky.

Gray, acrid smoke smothers the family, the forest.

Her face turns to black ash

peeled and mottled skin

raw open wounds.

Their cottage, a rubble of charred wood,

burnt clothes,furniture,torn photos,memorabilia

scatter like pieces of a puzzle.

A sole chimney stands.

Kissed by a guardian's lips, they narrowly survive

Scars everlasting.

Their lives like fragments of the shattered home.

Minds wander into hollowness.

Only remembrances cling.

Reviews

[bigfootprint]

A passionate treatment, Betty. You expertly convey the devastation of physical and emotional distress -- the sadness, suffering, the pathos. Such tragedy spotlights the fragility of our human condition. Fav lines: "Their lives like fragments of the shattered home. Minds wander into hollowness." Observers can be philosophical about such things, but the experiencers of tragedy know how it erodes the human spirit, the zest for life. Your vivid imagery brings alive the harshness -- and the agony that lingers long past the physical recovery. Such hurtful times reshape our perceptions of what really matters. I might have included another stanza, a flash of religious implication and inspiration that follows suffering shared by loved ones. Confrontation with death can restore our faith, bring a rebinding of hearts, and strengthen family bonds looking toward the future. You did well here. Three roses for good work, Betty.

[barleygirl]

I often say that details make all the difference & your details are popping. You show this scene in a way that's highly original & palpable -- SHOW instead of tell. I love how we can read V1 & V3 as being a human face OR it could be the face of a tree or other living things. V4 touches feelings the most, as a reader would imagine losing ALL THAT (great details). This is so pertinent since Australia has been burning up for months (((HUGS)) Fondly, Margie

[Lea Sheryn]

Sad yet full of descriptive detail. Well done!

[alanwgraham]

Well done Betty. This is a very poignant poem on a topic which hopefully we have all been thinking about. We tend to think these horrors only happen in far off lands but the flames are picking at our own door now. I think your line 'minds wander into hollowness' really gets over how we never get over these events.
All the best
Alan

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

Wonderful poem describes loss heartache emptiness tragedy but their memories remain really good write

[jacob erin-cilberto]

so much of this in Australia, in California...
my best friend died in a fire back in 1984...she was only 27....had so much life ahead of her and was such a beautiful person as is the subject of your poem.
j.