And She Named Her Baby "Felony"

This Is Poem About Domestic Violence

And She Named Her Baby "Felony"

 

Even after the black eyes and hospital stays, she had a healthy baby.

 

But, of all things, she had named their baby “Felony”. And I couldn’t believe that B.S. The baby was named “Felony”, was that what she was telling me? Honestly, it brought out the hell in me. She had said so easily the name was to honor the baby’s daddy who had been locked up. For, get this now, she said it nonchalantly “he got locked up for shooting at some folks, beating me up and oh yeah, for stealing some stuff”. She mistook the dysfunctional relationship for love.Yeah, he got locked up a lot and was sometimes violent and rough, she said. But, “it’s what it is and it’s what it was”. And she said: I have always been attracted to thugs.

 

The cycle continued for years to come. Still, I looked for some type of logic in this type of love. But I couldn’t. Because it was a love coupled with missed holidays, anniversaries, and baby birthdays that were often interspersed with violent confrontations and hospital stays. Also, there was a continuous slew of court dates. So, in this mixture of things, I found none.

Plus,there was always point and counter point. It was my con to her pro. It was, me giving a damn if he was the thug she craved. It was, her being so proud of trumpeting to everyone that “He’s the realest person I know “and “He’s not a punk and I love him so” And “I know he's violent But he loves me though”.As good as my vision was ,I couldn’t see how it lasted. Because: I thought he was a slightly crazy b*****d. But, of course, that’s just my opinion. So, at my concerns for her safety she would laugh when I asked about him. Then she’d say “it’s my own sin” And then she’d say to me then: That’s my man And if you don’t like it man stay out of my business and if you cannot then “you can kiss my a*s”. “It’s cool” I’d say back and laugh. And I’d even say “Have it your way”. But, I’d also say “You’re my friend, and you should know that you always will be until the end” And “even though I don’t like him I still love you, even if right now you don’t love me”.

 

Honestly, it just about killed me when it went on. This: love for violence, this violence for love. At least, up until the day he took her life and spirit. And I couldn’t say I hadn’t feared for it. You see, I had fought for her life long before she would lose it. And I felt like a failure for not saving her from this:  “a thug with his indifferent fists”.

 

His only excuse for her death

was spoken in a low liar’s breath.

 He claimed he loved her to death.

Way too much to give her up.

 

All I could think of was our last fight

and how maybe “I hadn’t fought hard enough”.

 

That last fight was all I had left of spending time with her when she was alive. It still didn’t sound right. it didnt Jive when he said “He just couldn’t give her up”. But, It was all he could say. So, they locked him away.  He waits for the state, now, to take his “thug life” any old day . The child lives with relatives now. They’re living as a victim of domestic violence and a victim of love and pain. The relationship, well, it was all wrapped up in the baby’s name.  

 

The whole story is so sad and full of hurt but still so compelling to me. Because I knew something was wrong in the beginning with what she was telling me. When she told me ,that first time,

 through blackened eyes and swollen lips

she had named her baby
”Felony”.

Reviews

[AMarie]

Absolutely powerful. I love AND hate they way it unfolds.. beautifully written.

[Matthew vonHone]

Beautiful and powerful. Great work.