Sweetest Lullaby

Sometimes the best thing is the worst thing at the time.

It helped my eyes to close, seeing your face momentarily.

You smiled, so I smiled it was a reaction that overtime I got used to.

Your voice was the rhythm my heartbeat followed naturally when you talked, it slowed down the pace of my heart.

Because seeing you will always create a chemical reaction within me.

The ownership you have of my heart is something that I will always envy.

When you cried it hurt I felt it and was led to feel empathy.

So when your facial expression wasn't a smile my heart felt empty,

Like it wasn't doing the job it believed it was created for from the very beginning.

Because when I gave up on Love, you were right there with a plan to otherwise convince me.

And When you left me...

You spoke but all I heard was the Lullaby you said in the very beginning.

Trust me...

Love me...

I'm not like them...

I'm different...

I'm in it for the long haul too...

Forever is my plan as well it's one day short of the time I wish to spend with you.

But you walked away, my eyes closed but they weren't induced by sleep.

I haven't cried in Seven years and six months.

But just like yesterday I remember the heat I felt from my eyelids covering up how my insides felt.

So I hate closing my eyes for this reason because I remember the heat.

I am afraid of it and it is exactly the reason I don't let people get close to me.

This is not your fault it's mine.

This is not your problem it's mine.

I Love You...

No do not speak It's not your turn it's mine.

Cause I still remember before my eyes closed you turned and walked away...

Oh s**t...

I just remembered you stayed I turned away and ran when my heart was broken by your hands it was raining.

I gave you whatever I came to give you closed my eyes and ran all the way back to the bus stop three blocks in the rain.

With my eyes closed, it hurt so bad when I opened them up.. I mean it inside my eye lids nothing but pain. 

They hurt so bad.

Well I still hate to sleep but that's not so bad, Because I also hate to dream because the one we lived ended too damn fast.

It woke me to a reality that No Lover should have and you cursed me with wishes of eternity.

With Love being a garden in my mind that grew too damn fast.