They Came Back When He Left

They Came Back When He Left

A Poem by Angel Criner
"

Grew dependent on handing over all secrets, thoughts, emotions, problems, and past to my love that when things switched up I didn't know how to take it so I ran back to razors, pills, and nightmares..

"
When you pulled away from me I was forced to do the same
I was trying to hold on to you while withdrawal took it's claim
Forcing myself to cry alone and not know you at the end of the day
Again. the suppressed voices arose; I still deny the things they say,
But the more I shunned... The more they chattered.
As I began to scream... They talked and talked until my blood splattered
"Quiet them with one cut, silence them with the pills."
I'm holding back tears thinking of how my mental barrier was unsealed.
These thoughts, voices, memories, and emotions.
Locked away from myself with a sad part of me in the ocean.
Rising towards me in a sudden upcoming tidal wave
Inside were the things that branded me a runaway slave.
All of my voices and demons busily speak among themselves... Constantly... Louder.
They only cease to exist when I'm sold once more with the illusion of power.
But when they all shut up, it's my raging screams that's heard.
Thinking I can let them out, the madness, but that's absurd.
The screams in my head... They won't stop. I question if I were better dead.
The screams in my swallows... They won't stop. They build up in my chest instead.
The screams that thrash around my mind when I'm about to slice my skin...
And the screams that claw at my throat as I feel the pills putting in work from within.
THE
SCREAMS!
THE
SCREAMS!
THE SCREAMS THEY WILL NOT STOP!!!!!!!!!!!
MY SCREAMS HAVE BECOME BEST FRIENDS WITH MY DARKEST OF THOUGHTS!
MY SCREAMS HAVE BECOME LOVERS OF MY HIDDEN EMOTIONS!
THEY HAVE BECOME ONE WITH MY ENEMIES!
THEY HAVE BECOME ONE WITH ME!
.
.
.
When you pulled away I was forced to face myself all alone;
I want to go back to then, but lately I've been growing cold.
Don't worry, I won't make the same mistake of putting everything in your sweet hands;
Because at the end of the day I'm on my own, and I can't bare another wake off the deep end.
.
.
.


© 2014 Angel Criner


Author's Note

Angel Criner
It's 1 am and I haven't slept in two days but I figured it was time to let some things I've been hoarding out so here's something that took around 3 hours while under the influence of NyQuil and Codeine. Not ready to sleep so fighting the meds but constructive criticism always welcome sorry thank you
3/25/2014

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Reviews

In our dependencies, we hear the silence clearly, we see the shadows creeping along, we taste the bitterness of things, we walk in fears of the unknown. This was marvelous...:)...........

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Angel Criner

7 Years Ago

Such a scary truth... Thank you.
Sami Khalil

7 Years Ago

You are welcome...:)......................

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1 Review
Added on March 25, 2014
Last Updated on March 25, 2014
Tags: screams, screaming, sadness. isolation, withdrawal, cutting, self-harm, nightmares, alone, voices, anxiety, crying, help

Author

Angel Criner
Angel Criner

Thailand



About
Female ~ Blasian ~ Poet ~ Violist ~ Otaku ~ -IG: achara.gouhan -IG: nights_with_angel -IG: lioness_on_the_hunt -Tumblr: -(My Christmas/Winter Blog) www.wonderfultimeoftheyear.tumblr.com S.. more..

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