The "Gayness"

Gayness
somebody help me
before the gayness spreads over
my entire body
 
I felt it creeping up over my toes
last year, month, week, hour
that chick walked by and they curled
at first I thought it was in defense
of the gayness
then I thought it was in preparation  
fight or flight
didn't do either
 
The gayness is taking over
felt it moving up my legs and over my knees
she brushed past my table
i scooted back
contact gayness spreading
In line with fabric of her skirt as it washed over my hand
fight or flight
didn't do either
 
The other day, week, month..year
i noticed it around my stomach
flutters, slight sickness
when she moved close to…
whisper things in my ear
things about love, life..her
I scooted back again
backed into her
toes curled again
fight or flight
didn't do either
stayed
listened
imagined
 
Moving slowly into my heart
she is
no...no the gayness is
spreading
love for her is
spreading
feeling it growing
fighting
deep down inside of me
battling for what?
me, her…us?
my peace of mind
sanity
society
rages a war as well
I'm a soldier
don't ask me and
I won't tell you nothing
 
My chest aches
from holding in the real
Me
My throat is constricted
from the pain of
saying no
agreeing with them
this ain't for me
thinking
please
yes
Let me be me
 
My ears ache from the strain
Of ignoring the whispered unquestions from my mother
Who is she to you
Best friends
Together every day
Interesting
 
Mentally she touches me
In ways I didn't think possible
Lets me know in ways
I didn't think possible
Of all the possibilities
Of us
 
 
Gayness…
Has spread
My head says listen to your heart
My heart says listen to your head
The rest of me chimes in
Toes curling
Stomache fluttering
Holding back what needs to be said
No more
 
Gayness
Has taken over
Is me

Reviews

[Kori Ricketts]

i feel like such a groupie...lol..i love this poem. it emits so much pain and passion....

[DUALFISH320]

I LIKE IT THE WAY IT IS

[bey]

this is truly a great poem kat. everytime i thought it was done, you introduced another point of view. i too could feel the pain, the struggle of it. its very relatable, we get it. good one kat!

[Haden]

Wow! Kat this is beautiful! You made me cry - it's either pms or that was one hell of a poem!! I'm going with the latter. You nailed it perfectly! this is exactly what it feels like - i couldn't write it just right, thought it was just me, the fighting against it - the "fight or flight". dismissing our own prejudice to accept that it might just be us! this is a fav! thanks for the mention! ;)

[Kori Ricketts]

i love it!!!! i feel the stuggle...the journey..kudos!

[Lulu Laflame]

I love this! It reads so smoothly. A journey in discovery and acceptance.
My favorite lines:
"My throat is constricted
from the pain of
saying no
agreeing with them
this ain't for me
thinking
please
yes
Let me be me"
To your last "Is Me" Bravo!