Deadly dreams.

Don't fall for your sleep paralysis hallicuninatians.

I have chronic sleep paralouses. It is a common disorder really. A lot of people like me have it. Your whole body is literally paralyzed for a moment or even longer. Sometimes you hallucinate. My hallucinations begin when I was 12, on the verge of puberty. I was at the point of becoming a man. It was a sticky, hot, muggy summer night.The fan was running while I laid in bed. My body was paralyzed from head to toe. Fear still held a claim to me. I wasn’t sure if I was still awake or not. On the ceiling I could see a figure. At first it was on the other side of the room. hunched above the closet. The windows were open with the curtains billowing. My heart raced when the figure begin to stretch out its long limbs and move across the ceiling. As a kid I panicked. I called out for my parents but nothing came out.

Just a gust of breath. A pair of long white arms reached down. Hands stroked my cheeks while claws bit into my skin.
From what I could see, a pair of black eyes stared into mine. They belonged to a chiseled alien face. Even thou its face wasn’t malevolent, its presence was. Its elongated body hovered over me. Its long hands lifted the back of my head up. A wide mouth filled with sharp teeth sliced across its mouth as it opened. I don’t know what happened after that. All I can remember is hearing a growl.
I awoke the next morning drenched in sweat. 
The hallucination came more often with each episode. Each time it visited it would in some way touch my body. Sometimes a stroke on the cheek, other times it would caresses my face and press its cold forhead against mine. By the time I was sixteen the fear had vanished. I begin to actually enjoy it.

Maybe feeling a little intimate with my dream. One night in the middle of January I stayed up late. Making an attempt to finish my paper that was due the next day.My back was hunched over while I sat at my desk. I could feel sleep coming to claim me. I made attempts to fight it off. Suddenly I felt a presence inside the room. It was a dark, but pleasant presence. One I could recognize. I wasn’t asleep nor half awake. Even thou I was exausted I knew I was fully awake. I turned around to see the creature sitting on the end of my bed. Its legs were crossed as it stared with a blank face. Chills ran down my spine while I froze. This shouldn’t be real. I wasn’t paralyzed. To this day I don’t know why but I stood up and threw myself into it. My arms wrapped around its elongated torso. I felt familiar claws trace up my back. Long fingers tapped against my cheek. I realized what I have done and tried to get away. But the creature only held me close and opened its wide mouth.

Again I blacked out. Like all the other times I woke up in my bed with a cold sweat. I felt a sharp pain in my neck.
What I saw caused my blood to run cold. There was a clear, visible bite mark that was still fresh. I wasn’t sure if I was going insane. But I made the decision that this thing was more then a hallucination.At the time of my adult hood the visits became more rare. But the sleep paralysis still reared its ugly head. When I was a teenager I was confused about my sexuality, As an adult I was more confused and felt a longing. But for what? My parents were Christians who followed every word of the bible.I was always taught that loving the same sex was a sin. This all falls in with what happened years ago. My girlfriend had dumped me and I wasn’t taking it to well.
I felt like I have failed her. Or I have failed myself for I couldn’t understand what I really wanted. I didn’t want to interact with anyone so I locked myself in my bedroom in an apartment I shared.

My roommate wouldn’t be home for tonight. He was at a party and would come back tomorrow afternoon.
I remember laying on my bed, thinking and holding a bottle of pills. I contemplated on killing myself for my mind was already a mess. 
I felt the warning signs of sleep paralysis. But I was fully awake with deciding my suicide. For the first time in years I felt its presence, still as strong and malevolent from before. My eyes darted over the right side of the room where the window was. It was wide open with a gust of hot summer air gusting in. Standing infront of it was the creature. Except, it looked different. I don’t know how to describe it exactly but it looked more human.

White, glossy hair fell down its shoulders while a black robe hung loosely from its body. A pair of lips replaced its wide mouth. I am not sure why but I didn’t feel any fear. The creature almost floated towards me while I stared. A pair of slender hands caressed my face.
There was a sweet musk to its body that made me attracted. I shouldn’t have been infatuated with this thing. Its lips planted on my forhead with a chilling wetness. Suddenly I wanted more and struggled to voice it out. A wet finger was placed on my lips and suddenly I was able to speak.

“Don’t leave me again.”

It cocked its head to the side when I choked out those words. Its mouth opened to reply, revealing flat almost human teeth.

“You’re aged enough for me. I can claim you now.”

Its voice was far different then its appearance. It had a hiss to it along with gargeling. There were moments where the voice sounded like nails going across a chalk board. A claw traced across my cheek while a smile formed. My radio turned on as Nights in white satin, started to play.
It whispered in my ear:

“I’m giving you a choice, invite me in and let yourself be mine, or cast me out of your world.”

Its flat chest pressed against mine as it drew my hood down. I was wearing a stained grey hoodie that probably smelled. But it didn’t care. I made the decision that changed my life forever. We fucked that night to put it bluntly. It was the most ectasy filled night I had. I woke up with the thing spooning me. I felt a raw pain in my neck. My hand reached up to rub and that is when a thick, foul smelling ooze spreaded across my skin. I felt incredibly ill as my stomach wrenched in pain. Before the creature woke up I rushed to the bathroom. Pus begin to leak out of my neck. What I saw in the mirror caused me to choke in horror. A gaping hole was in my neck that exposed the flesh underneath with pus swelled around.A wave of heat washed over me while I vomited into the sink. In the midst of my illness the creature stood behind me, back in the form I always knew of it to be.

“Isn’t this charming?”

It asked in that horrible voice. Its slimed hand held up a decapitated human head, my ex girlfriend to be exact. I hurled once more as the thing only laughed and gave a quick peck on my cheek. I can remember it holding my close around the waist and humming softly as if this was all casual. I have made the worst decision of my life which resulted in being unable to walk and literally dying. It once said outloud while perched in a chair that I had a sexual disease for whatever its kind was. Now I am thrity nine turning fourty. I have spent my young adult hood trapped inside my own home. Everyone, even my family knows that thing as my husband. It has taken on the form of a human man and puts on the masqeruade of a tender soul caring for their crippled, dying partner.
I am writing this from my laptop while its gone.

Its is currently three AM. I know I am not going to be here much longer so I am putting my story out. It is starting to yearn for another and soon I will be finished off, just like the rest of its former “husbands.”

Soon sleep paralysis will take over and I am certain that this time, I won’t wake up.