She loves him more than he would ever know, he loves her more than he would ever show..

She loves him more than he would ever know, he loves her more than he would ever show..

A Story by BlueGene

Stop saying you're sorry. You want to know something? I knew. I knew you didn't feel that way about me. I knew, and I still let it happen. Because, well, I figured that one night with you was better than never. So will you stop saying you're sorry? Because you didn't know better, but I did.

I never thought I'd hear myself saying this, but thank you. Because if you hadn't of come along, I never would have learned that my worst day could also have been my best. Because when a heart breaks, it also opens; and once a heart opens, any number of things can happen, and some of them can be wonderful.

Our relationship is very confusing. We're not exactly best friends, but we seem so close. We're not exactly lovers, but we're always together. We're not exactly apart, but we seem like we're on the edge. So where do we go from here? Do we, take a chance and be together? Or stay friends, and let this moment pass us by. Or do we just let go, of everything we made. Tell you the truth, I don't really know. So I'm hoping, hoping for your decision, and hoping it's a good one.

I'm never letting this one go because, often, certain people enter our lives at the most peculiar times for the most beautiful reasons. They seem to make the most perfect impressions while leaving us behind an everlasting impact. Some of the best things in life appear when you least expect them, things you can never forget.

We never dated, but we were amazing friends. Now, we're miles apart. Although I think I'm quite over you. Sometimes, I can't help but think that there will never be anyone as perfect for me as you. You were too big of a fool to have known that.

I love that feeling. You know, the one you get when you take a deep breath and suddenly everything feels like it's going to be okay. When you're hopeless as can be, and life is going nowhere, there's those moments we have every now and then where we just stop and we get this feeling, that can't be described, but you just... you just feel like everything really is going to be okay. Like the world stopped spinning for a second, and everything was clear. I need more of those moments.

When you can't be with the one you love, will you stay with the one who loves you?

I wish it could be simple, like a retro pop song, "I want you to want me." Boom. End of story.

Sometimes in life there really are bonds formed that can never be broken. Sometimes you really can find that one person who will stand by you no matter what. Maybe you'll find it in a spouse and celebrate it with your dream wedding. But there's also the chance that the person you can count on for a lifetime, the person who knows you sometimes better than you know yourself, is the same person who's been standing beside you all along.

We talk like we know what's going on but we don't. We don't know anything. We're young and we're gonna screw up a lot. We're gonna keep changing our minds, and sometimes our hearts. And through all of that, the only real thing we can offer each other is forgiveness.

You know what I think we are most afraid of? Not knowing. Not knowing whether it's all really worth. Not knowing if you should give up or keep fighting. Not knowing why you do the things you do; not knowing the purpose. It's like when you're little and you touch the stove and get burned, because you didn't really know it was hot. Not knowing has always hurt us, from the very beginning.

I liked him, but I loved you. I was so in love with you. I let you go because I had to. Because it hurt too much. I needed to be able to look at you and still see this great guy that was trustworthy. And understand I needed to be able to look at you and see my best friend, not just another person who let me down. I moved on, yes, but that doesn't mean I have forgotten. And that doesn't mean that I won't be here anymore, if you ever come back.

Three months ago, if you asked me, I would have told you that if you really loved someone, you'd let them go. But now I look at you, and I dream about you, and I see that I've been wrong. If you really love someone, I think you have to take them back.

Maybe this is supposed to be the end of us, maybe we are not supposed to reconcile and be friends again. Maybe we were here to teach one another a lesson, and once the lesson was taught we were supposed to leave. You taught me love, lust, pain, and trust. I taught you to never let anyone take advantage of you. And now maybe, just maybe, this is the end for us.

You're in my past, and I've moved on. I'm over you. You did me wrong, you made me upset, broke me down, and you made me feel terrible about myself. I learned from you, though. I know what to look for, and I know that I can do much better than you. Thanks for showing me I'm a strong person, and I can handle my problems well.

John: Why didn't you call? Why didn't you call me? I mean, did I not deserve any more explanation than that letter? You couldn't have called me? You couldn't have given me a chance to change your mind? Didn't you think you owe me that?

Savannah: Because just by hearing your voice I would have changed my mind. Is that all you want to hear, John? Is that why you came all the way over here for me? You thought it's easier for me without you? You thought every single day wasn't a goddamn misery in my life without you?

Is it really that hard just to tell me if you like me or not? Stop playing with my heart and giving me mixed signals. I want to know the truth, I don't want to waste my time, I don't want to have high expectations, I don't want to be hurt, and I don't want to fall for you. Don't play with my feelings just because you're unsure of yours.

I hate when you get to that point where you just want to give up. You don't want to have any feelings or emotions, you don't want to talk to or see anybody. You don't want to go to school, you don't want to go out in public, you want to stay in your room by yourself. You feel like nobody understands you or what you're going through. You feel alone in the world.

Sometimes all I really want to do is sit beside you. I want to watch crappy movies with you, and we will laugh at them together. I want to plan things with you, things we'll never do, but for some reason just planning them with you is fine with me. I want to talk to you about everything and anything. I want to goof around with you and make jokes that aren't funny but we'll laugh nonetheless. I just want to fall in love with you over and over and maybe at one point we'll get tired of each other, but until then, I want you, and just you.

You're the only person that ever made me feel anything, really feel. Even if it wasn't always the best of feelings, you're the one one who could make me smile or tear me down in three seconds flat. You're the only person that can drive me crazy, in both good and bad ways. You're the only one that ever made me feel like I didn't have to try so hard. And I know that you're not okay without me either. I just wish you knew I still loved you, and I wish you would do something with that knowledge. I wish you would grab me and hold me tight in your arms and whisper in my ear how much you loved me more, like you always did...

Ever have that one person in your life that you just can't give up on, the one person that can screw you over time after time, yet you always seem to give them another chance? And no matter how many times you say this is their last one, you know it's a lie because there's always just one more waiting for them. The one person you know you're better off without, but you can't find a way to let them go because deep down inside, you wouldn't know what to do without them. The one person you know doesn't deserve you, but yet you choose to overlook it because you love him. Yeah? Well, he's that guy for me.

I'll say my goodbye and you'll walk away in the way that you do. Then we'll pretend that nothing happened and we never knew each other. Because that's what happens. You find people, and then you lose them. Nothing lasts forever, contrary to popular belief. And it's those goodbyes, the ones you thought you'd never have to say; it's those that hurt the most.

I felt something catch in my through, a sudden urge of sadness that caught me unaware. It almost managed to take my breath away. That was the thing; you never got used to it. You never got used to the idea of someone being gone. Just when you think it's okay, and you think you've accepted it, someone points it out to you, and it hits you all over again. And it's just as shocking as the first time.

As hard as it was to move on, I think I'm finally okay with how we are. At some point, we both wish we didn't ignore each other like that. I'll be forgiving you, just like you were forgiving me. People make mistakes, second chances are okay. It's like a weight has just been lifted, I can finally breathe and not worry about what he'll say, or when he would've finally stopped ignoring me. Because now I no longer care, he doesn't concern me. I just wonder if he'll come back to me, wishing he would've never screwed things up. I just hope our friendship can have another chance, but if this is the way it was meant to be, then I'm honestly okay.

My friends all say I should stop talking to him, but I think he misses me. And I like that. I miss him. I feel if I stay in touch with him, it will remind him of how great I am, and eventually he will realize that we should be together again.

Just because I drink all night and make out with other guys doesn't mean that you aren't the one that's always on my mind. Those are just the things that I do to try and get you out of my mind, but it never works.

I never told you what I should have said, I just head it in. And now I miss everything about you. I can't believe I still want you after all the things we've been through. I miss everything about you.

Depression is an ugly addiction. That's all I can say. It's the confusion that gets us. It's the hatred that drives us, the sadness that kills us, the dreams that fill us, and the beauty that keeps us hooked. No matter how much blood is shed, no matter the weight of despair, the feeling of hopelessness is always there when no one else is. It's what separates the insane from the sane, what holds the fear and the pain, what drowns your every though, and actions making you believe you're nothing but a fault. The cause is always unknown. For if it wasn't, then we'd all go home to the base of happiness.

I need someone to prove to me that I'm worth it. Maybe all I need is a person who can show me that everyone is not the same. Honestly, I thought you were that person, but I was wrong. Is it too much to ask for someone to take a risk on me, to fight for me, to actually care enough to not let something go; the way I did for you? You never even thanked me. I acted the way I did because I cared. I didn't realize it then, but I do now. I don't do that for just anyone. So, call me crazy, but today.. today I realized that I can't keep waiting for you. I'm moving on, I can't stay in one place waiting. I can't be around you anymore. I'm not over it, I don't get over things very fast. I never have, no matter how much I try and convince myself. I'll see you around somewhere. I keep thinking maybe somehow, something will click and everything will go back to the way it was in the beginning. Maybe we could go back to that, but too much has been said and done. So, maybe you'll get one more chance from me. Maybe you won't.

Deep down she places some sort of blame on her. She can't help but things she could have, should have, and would have said if you would have acted like you cared for once.

Sometimes it's better to push someone away. Not because you've stopped loving that someone, but because you have to shield yourself from the pain they cause.

It was one thing to sacrifice yourself for a great cause, but it was another thing to destroy yourself for a person who didn't even want you.

I'm sorry I can't make you feel like she does. I'm sorry that my hair isn't naturally perfect or that sometimes I don't wear makeup. I'm sorry that my clothes aren't as revealing as hers. I'm sorry I won't forget about my self respect and do anything you want me to do. I'm sorry I'm me, I'm sorry I'm not her.

You think I wanted to turn out this way? You think I don't see my flaws, my own mistakes? I do, okay? Get that. I do. More than anything I contemplate about all the things I could have done better or shouldn't have done at all. But then I thought, why do I bother? Sooner or later we all have to let it go. No more hate. No more anger. No more regrets.

He's the reason why I'm so screwed up now. The reason why I can't remember the last time I went through a day without breaking down and crying. The reason why I'm not happy. I just don't feel good anymore. Every day I'm dragging myself through as slowly as possible, just so it can finally end and a new day can begin. I guess I just keep on hoping tomorrow will be better than today. And when it isn't, I just keep on keeping on.

There's a story behind everything. How a picture got on a wall, how a scar got on your face. Sometimes the stories are simple, and sometimes they are hard and heartbreaking.

Please know there are much better things out there than being lonely or liked or bitter or mean or self conscious. We are all full of s**t. Go love someone just because. I know your heart may be badly bruised, or even the victim of numerous knifings, but it will always heal. Even if you don't want it to, it keeps going. There are the most fantastic, beautiful things and people out there, I promise. It's up to you to find them.

She will smile that smile and she will laugh that laugh. She will look at you and say with a perfectly straight face that everything is fine. But in her heart; in her soul and in her head, it's not. Nothing is, but that doesn't matter. Because she's going to suck it up and hide it all. Because she doesn't want to burden anyone else with her problems and her fears. She's done listening to liars who say they care.

You think I don't know what I did wrong? I know this is all my fault, I really don't need you to remind me. I'm sorry I messed up. I really am. I loved you. I always will.

There's someone in her past that she hasn't gotten over yet. Each day is like the last and she misses what she can't forget. It's just an empty space where something used to be. Now she guards the gate, but she's lost the key. So no one enters, but no one leaves

© 2013 BlueGene


Author's Note

BlueGene
I really love him (:

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Reviews

I can't put into words how much I loved this.

Posted 5 Years Ago


Heartachingly beautiful and... well...overwhelmingly inspiring actually. It's what most might feel but fail to ever put into words.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

BlueGene

8 Years Ago

:) Thanks
This is great, i love all the pictures and powerful quotes. Are you in love with someone?

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This comment has been deleted by the poster.
Talismanic

8 Years Ago

i'd say love is immeasurable, that she doesn't necessarily love him more, it's just yours is of a di.. read more
This comment has been deleted by the poster.

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Added on February 4, 2013
Last Updated on February 4, 2013

Author

BlueGene
BlueGene

India



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