California

California she'll kill you 

with those long warm nights

and wild neon lights

So, hot blooded California 

You can't take it slow

When she's around 

She'll make you go down 

But she so beautiful California 

She'll kill with a smile 

As you in brace , those sunny days 

She'll just run you wild

Oh she just lovely California 

She has her own way 

Dancing, romancing, prancing 

As she crosses the stage 

Oh she's wild linda California  

Reviews

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Being from California, I get this piece in a way that some others probably don't. It is true...the "neon lights" (which are a good metaphor for the call of "fame and fortune in Hollywood") have taken many a man (and woman) to his knees. There is a beauty here, but also a definite "culture" that sort of takes on a life of its own, and if you can't keep up, you'll be left in the lurch.

[Brannon]

EXACTLY, I WAS BORN IN VENTURA BEACH AND SPENT A LOT OF TIME DOWN AROUND IMPERIAL BEACH, I LOVER HER SO "LINDA CALIFORNIA" BUT SHE'LL KILL YOU, OH SHE WILL.

[Relic]

This is a really good poem although it suffers just a tad. The commas seem misplaced and other parts seem too rushed. Did you mean to put in brace rather than embrace? A couple of words are missing apostrophes. (she)

Despite any errors though, I really like the way you've personified Linda California with its many traits. There's a quality or style to this poem that is captivating and if one overlooks any minor flaws they'll find a poem worth reading. I enjoyed this.

[Brannon]

THANK YOU, SHE IS MY HOME STATE, VENTURA BEACH.

[Relic]

You're welcome.