Six Foot Silence

Just a little diddy done in a moment of madness, hope you enjoy, if not, comment and tell me how to improve!

Can't you feel the silence

the stillness all around?

That corpse is lying there,

still and silent on the ground.

And as she slumbers, waiting

a man above her stands,

fingers together in prayer position,

her life now in his hands.

Her gaze is straight and steady

not a care in her world

the man steps around her figure

his gaze much more absurd.

His pulse is jumping frantic,

black heart with sweet goodbyes,

he stares into the pits of life,

which once were lady's eyes.

Can't you feel the silence,

it's rolling out in waves.

Crashing and uncaring,

to which we all are slaves.

Reviews

[Sujash I. Purna]

in a moment of madness? this is a piece of real beauty and I think you definitely have a kind of great faculty in your mind which when switched on to so-called madness emanates deep thoughts. I really went emotional with the poem! It's so beautifully sad!

"he stares into the pits of life,
which once were lady's eyes"

I became tearful here...

A huge applause for the magnificent poem!

[Bonnie Masters]

Wow, thank you three very much! I look forward to hearing from your all soon and I look forward to reading your material too. Thanks again!

[Humor Me]

its a sweet poem plus i think you write dark stuff or pretty much random but overall good poem man

[ATG]

A very well written and interesting poem. The poem was flawless for the most part. You do have one minor typo though. "a man above he stands," I think you meant "her" not "he." Other than that, the poem was very good.