Creative Note Taking: Pride

Currently, I'm writing a personal essay but the notes themselves weave into stories.

I remember sitting on the college grounds painting New York, my wishful home. A taxi, brushed against cadmium towers, carried a tiny stippled woman to her career in Manhattan. She was the Creative Director of a Magazine, any magazine that didn’t involve featuring Florida. We both hated Florida. I knew this because, somewhere in the obscure puddle of gray that was supposed to be her work building I was waiting as an intern. She was my imaginary guru. 

The painting wasn’t very good but from it I learned what kind of person I was: delusional. At the time I thought it’s content was worth more than my ability as a painter. Emotion guided my hand to finish pieces instead of my eyes. Muddy canvases, coffee ground drawings, and bare prints of flowers all summarize my portfolio that I had sent to Cooper Union. 

Cooper Union that accepted three percent of transfer students each year into it’s Visual Art Program. Where all the tuition is paid for by the institution and I wanted a free ride. What separated me from the rest of the student body though was my emotion. I felt entitled to an admission slip simply because my work exhibited multicolored self-portraits and cityscapes. As an artist I’ve learned there is nothing more cliche than the person you try to imitate. All artists don’t go to Cooper Union, live in New York, paint in rage, or drink coffee. 

Currently, I live in Orlando that is Eighteen Hours & Fifty Two Minutes from my wishful home. Engrained in me is still a desire to live in New York but I’m will to put some other feelings aside. My imaginary guru travels to her current job as a waitress and I’m just a coworker. We talk about the magazines we want to publish one day while carrying food to our guests. 

At night I imagine she goes to cry because she’s impatient. Gooey pillow sheets drown her head in bad dreams. Whenever she tells me the same story I tell her it’s because of her emotion. She asks for empathy but I shrug. I go home to write. 

Reviews

[Silent Wolf]

Interesting. I like how you created a world in your mind separate from reality. I like that you have a dream. Keep going for it. :3