My Words

I feel so tired, Im always tired.
I sleep for hours at a time, but Im always tired.
Of this restlessness, I hope I can retire. 
But I cannot escape what has become a part of me. 
I want to live, I desire to be free. 
I cannot live happy, If I cannot be me.
The words that surround me and my mind. 
Are only words, until I can find out what they are truly saying.
It's like trying to read In a different language. 
They are really there and I can see them,
but I cannot understand them. 
Every time I try to close my eyes and rest,
they are there waiting for me. 
Is there anyone else who feels like me?
Who has eyes but somehow can't see?
It is like a constant headache, something I can't get rid of.
I listen to poems to help but it only makes me more aware,
of the problem I have, and the happiness I lack.
These words that surround me get worse and worse.
It makes me sick to know that they might never leave. 
Like a parasite that is sucking my blood, my life, and my soul. 
It is undiagnosed my the doctors they don't know its there, 
but it is there. 
Im still trying different ways to live my life.
like trying on new pairs of glasses maybe one of them will help me read these words. 
All I can do now is mope and curse, 
and pray to God that something changes.
That my prescription helps me read these words.
That I won't be detained by these lies.
All I can do now is just try.