Busy Streets

Walking through busy streets

So full of the empty soul

Skin trapped to its pile of bones

Turning embers into coal

 

Worthlessly heaped upon the fire

Broken body, skin burned

The awe and smell a jealous sight

For stomachs flipped and turned

 

Some stole them from the pile

Yet burning bags dragged away

Sorrowful woes filled the currents

And through the smoke we swayed

 

No soul to express emotion

No fear or laughter to hear

But souls rising to the skies

And stars descend too near

 

Heads turned forever above

Bumping into bricks and stones

As stars aligned their course ahead

We firmly sat alone

Reviews

[Seshat Nidaba]

As always your cadence is really fine. Some of the rhymes were unusual endings, but broken rhymes sound better than a lot of things in this world. You managed to poetisize a contemporary sort of post-modern finally ruined feel.

The 4th stanza felt the most fresh to me. Good ending.

[dukovan]

This is a very elegantly written piece.

No soul to express emotion
No fear or laughter to hear
But souls rising to the skies
And stars descend too near

that was my favorite stanza