This is for yourself, be true to you

A Poem by BrokenBeauty1

thoughts of a girls in love

Growing up and for me even now, I believed in LOVE real true passionate LOVE. I grew up listening to Delilah at night, and all the 80s/90s love songs. What I felt when each song played, I just knew one day someone would make me feel that way. That these songs couldn't be just words but others who felt it. We have all had glimmers of love, real passion, and infatuation. For me I was IN love once. Felt real passion a few times, and infatuated many times. I am 28 years old. I am single and I do know the power and pull of being with someone, to have the attention we all as spiritual being seek, a connection with someone on another level than the normal plane of existence, and to feel the touch of another being. And, recently I spent 2 years alone when before that I was in and out of relationships seeking the very things I listed above. This sort of behavior is the norm in this day and age and is also why relationships are more often referred to as situationships. The REAL is taken out because well, there is always another people we are no longer looking for one person to love but lots of people to love us. I came to realize a few years ago, that I did not only not love myself but I didn't even know myself. This is FACT for many people today, but the here and now is so strong that people will always seek out temporary situations, ignoring the long term results and the paper trail so to speak that will be left behind. So, I spent 2 years alone. I really enjoyed my time, it was lonely at times and sometimes hard because over and over I was having self realizations that I had been umaware of. Many nights I spent crying getting to know ME, falling in love with ME. And with no one to tell this to I became my own best friend. I knew my worth and value. I knew what real love was. Now more often than not when we catch feelings it happens before we are aware of it. So when this happened to me I thought okay well this is great cause I love myself and now I can properly give love. No matter how much we want to we can not force love. We can’t force people to treat us right. In these type of situations we blame ourselves, second guess ourselves, and only see our faults. This relationship was by far the worst, but best one so far. What I mean was it was short hard and painful the whole way. I took hits my spirit. But, it was the best because after the storm I stopped thinking about what love is. But started to think about what it isn't. This is also crucial. I never once put thought into it. I thought relationships are hard yada yada, and as that may be true, real love will never be a few things. It will never leave you wondering about your own self worth. It will never leave you when you need it the most. It isn't lies and manipulation. It doesn’t feel on a daily basis like walking on nails and being emotionally withdrawn in fear of rejection. Love will never force you to numb yourself to cope with it. Love will never hold your head under water leaving you breathless because of the uncertainty of tomorrow. I could go on forever about what love is not. But I wanted to write this to encourage EVERYONE who takes the time out to read this to always know what love is not. ONLY then can we see what LOVE really is. We all deserve to LOVE OURSELVES and the experience real true love. The reality will forever remain that we are responsible for who’s hand in which we place our hearts and who’s eyes we show our souls. When we have real love there will never be a doubt never be a question that it is real. Love yourselves and give yourself to someone who will love you as much as you love yourself and who will add to you. NEVER TAKE AWAY. We are all worth that. No matter what though be kind, because you will always know where you stood and how you dealt with things. Someone out there is searching for us and have faith that we will find them. Cause as long as we never give up we will stumble across them. NAMASTE!