A Drop of Happiness

Am I so wrong to want to die?
I’m lost in a sea of people. 
Trying to stay afloat but….
I’m drowning, sinking, dying inside.
I can’t breath, can’t sleep …
Can’t do anything right. 
I can’t even end my own life. 
I’m just a scared piece of s**t.
I go into panic attacks… That’s not it..
They are followed by tears & …
Asthma attacks that make me wish…
Wish I was dead, just stop breathing..
Like it would all end, the pain..
Confusion. Faking a smile.Depression
I’d ask for help but I’m far past that..
I’m broken,crumbling,falling apart.
The blade is so close, comforting. 
I welcome the oozing pain… Longing 
I wish I was brave, brave enough… 
To step up and end it all. Maybe…
That’s not what I need? I’m tired.
Numbing doesn’t work. I’d kill for…
A drop of happiness that’s untainted. 
Not a drop of sadness, not a tear.
Wouldn’t that be great? Just one.
One drop of happiness, restore faith.
But that’s to much to ask for.

Reviews

[Kamran Javed]

well constructed.. pain inside reflecting.

[BryanaBear]

thanks

[Adam Lebzo -RonninWarri..]

I can feel it! spontaneous and touching!

[BryanaBear]

thank you