Life's Turning Wheel

A Poem by WordyWorld

Vitality ends as it begins,
A newborn cries awaits.
Leaves of summertime,
Finally, in autumn, it fades.

Solace screams where tranquility resides,
A world of cocoon, unheard, unseen.
A life forsaken, a path untaken,
Fate, a bitter and sweet medicine.

Walls of hardships, forever remains,
Thorns and flame, where once I stayed.
Metamorphosis, a pleasant gain,
Fortune I grasp, and left away.

Life's wheel spins onward forever same,
Yet only echoes of the past remain.
Empty branches whisper low,
As gentle breeze come and go.

© 2025 WordyWorld

Author's Note

Have fun reading 📚 😊
BTW came back after some research and hope for your honest review so i can work upon my shortcomings. Thank you.

My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register

Reviews

JayG

The problem you face is that you’re presenting your reaction to things that matter for you. And because you know what prompted the words, and what you’re trying to say, it works perfectly. But look at it as a reader must:

• Vitality ends as it begins,

Huh? If it ends AS it begins, it doesn’t begin.

But that aside, whose vitality are you talking about, and for doing what? And why does it end? You know, because it’s based on your life. The reader? Naaa.

• A newborn cries awaits.

Doesn't make sense. So I have not a clue of what this is supposed to mean, and how it relates to vitality.

• Leaves of summertime,

They do what? You have intent for how the words relate to your thoughts and situation. The reader has what the words suggest to them, based on their life. And what are the odds that their life-experiences match yours in a way that each line is meaningful to them in the way it is for you?

My point is that the reader doesn’t care what’s meaningful to you. They expect your words to entertain them, which means they must be meaningful to the reader as-they-are-read.

So instead of telling the reader how you feel, make THEM feel it. Use the skills of poetry to make them feel and care. The reader is exactly as interested in how you’re doing as you are in what’s going on in my living room at the moment.

Sorry, but you did ask.

Take a read of Mary Oliver’s, A Poetry Handbook. She’ll show you how to do it, in an entertaining way.

https://dokumen.pub/a-poetry-handbook-0156724006.html