Thunderstorm?

Can you hear the pitter, and the patter, and the ping as the rain hits the roof.

The bang and the boom as the thunder roars overhead

The flash, and the crash of the lightning as it cracks across the night sky

Can you hear the tears hit the floor as they stream in riverlets down a lonly girl's downcast face

Can you hear as she lifts her eyes to the heavens and wispers her prayer:

 

"Father, oh Father, why me? What have I done to deserve these jeering faces and hateful words?

Father, you know you're all I have. And I know you're all I need, but can you please explain to me: Why me?

 

On another street in a big, warm house can you hear as a young man looks out the window of his room and prays:

 

"Father, oh Father, why her? What has she done to deserve those jeering faces and hateful words?

Father, I know you see everything. And I know you hear it all, so can you please explain to me: Why her?"

Author's Note

It's a song about a girl and a boy who are both praying during a thunderstorm. The girl's dad is dead, her mom an abusive drunk, the house she's in falling apart, and she pretty much raises herself, takeing odd jobs here and there and takeing care of her mother. The boy has a good family life, big house, pretty much the opposite of the girl. She is constantly made fun of and picked on. In this song she is asking why it happens to her, and he's asking why it is as well. It isn't done, but I thought you might have some ideas as to what to name it, or some tweaks or some such.
Love,
CreativeCookie

Reviews

[Rahul]

great write, lovely theme that you'd choosen.

[DogDrawler]

Pawsome poem! Such "parfait" writing.

[Akleja]

This is very beautifully written. I love how you leave room for thought... I like it very much! I think that many people can relate to this as well.

[Wingless Fallen Angel]

This is so powerful and meaningful. So many people ask themselves that question everyday, and it makes me want to do better, be better. If that makes any sense.

[Megara]

i think you did a great job:)

[TheMadnessWithin]

I like it, its very intriguing and pulls you in:) possible titles: More Than a Storm/Surviving the Storm

[CreativeCookie]

Thank you!

[TheMadnessWithin]

No problem