"Lyrical" Rappers Be Like

A satire on rappers who claim to be lyrical, but rather string words together that rhyme. WARNING: Contains profanity.

//Intro

Nowadays, I be hearing rappers trying to be all lyrical and s**t in their songs, but they just be going to a rhyming dictionary and plugging words in without giving a damn about if it makes sense. Hear, let me show you what I mean:

 

//Verse 1

Ineluctable, untouchable

Cut from enough stuff to f**k up a combustible

Running from dysfunctional deductibles

That plunge culpable multiples to nonfunctional gutter rolls

I'm making messes in trenches that veterans recommend

For the benefit of Reverends that never hit Jefferson

Severing degenerates for confederate leverage

That festers into federal estrogenic rhetoric

All these haters abating maidens on cadence

That makes ravens cater to fake masons

For degrading a pagan Satan on raisins

Awakening straight Jamaican mistakes paid by the Saint Jason

I'm pissin' on vixens nicked by crucifixed visions

Knittin' kittens pixel by pixel 'til they're missin' their diction

Glistenin' convictions is an addiction ripped to friction

Quickenin' pistons for Christian chickens is my mission

 

//Verse 2

Amassed to ask crashed f**s who lack shafts

If Matt lasts and surpasses forecasts: taken aback

If steadfast crap jacks Taft's trash

Then slashed newscasts cap blasts at his aft craft

I'm searing clearance for merely appearing and interfering

Engineering cleared for queer volunteers that fear sneering

A beer geared and persevering through hearings

That peers in drear earrings: buccaneering

Enforcing morbid divorces by course of the Norse hordes

A Borg quartz core stores more lore than four sources could enforce

Pouring forks for retrorse pork forging dwarves

That morph born w****s into intercourse for sport

Declaring married affairs paired staring for nightmares

A bear glaring scares a mare where snares were aware

That the pair to prepare Voltaire wears a fare so debonair

That Delaware's heirs shared rare tears in footwear

I'm on time by the grime that lies crimes into overtime

A sign that the paradigm is alive in Anaheim

So my cries fry dimes in pantomime for sublime drives

That flies drive-bys to the guys' grinding nine-to-five

Coherency is a conspiracy against hearing me

When I feel the beat it's efficiency, not heresy

Try to mirror me with no proficiency and get tyranny

It's flippancy mixed with reasoning

 

//Verse 3

An imperial ethereal cereal in delirium

Is a serious miracle that Syria's people would find satirical

The interior of the criteria is venial

While Cheerios' bacterium fears for 'em

I'm lifted and gifted in the middle of business

No kisses for vivid scripts that I predicted

A fitted liquid sittin' in restricted enlistments

It's cryptic with little vicious commitments

Skewering the producers into the Future

On mute for the rumors that dudes spew through the computers

That move coolers to cougars for viewers like Medusa

Abusin' cruisers for reducers that remove her, I'm super

From afar Jafar's cards scarred the Czar of the boulevard

When Mars stars start to spar

Then cigars char the yard with shards of guitars

That mark far jars to guard jaguars with bars

Absurd words purge slurred birds for fur

A third hurd sure burns blurred ferns to girth

CERN turns nerds into sherds that gird churned curds

And preferred interns inter the dirt when aferd

A manta ray's random cake stands afraid to Atlanta quakes

Banter hates a panda's lake that magma takes

A banana makes Amanda bake a canon wake

While Savannah states that Santa sleighs

 

//Verse 4

I'm recent and completely indecent

Your niece can eat my freezing semen

I'm a demon heaving beacons to the ceiling

Leaving pieces of grease as a reason for sleeping

A glutton plugs a custom button all of a sudden

No subtle stunting in in the stomach of buckets

That muck it the f**k up while humping, sucking, and roughing it

Now cut it

Author's Note

I'm aware that not a single word makes sense.

Reviews

[Tony Jordan]

I disagree.
The rappers are making the words the sounds now. The sound of the word has overtaken the importance of the meaning for some.
I think it's a British influence.
If you listen to the hugely successful Skepta and Dizzee Rascal you'll hear how their genre - aka Grime uses the words to be the melody such as it is.
Detroit's Danny Brown even cites Dizzee as an influence!!
What you are witnessing is the embracing of the UK scene in the same way that the Beatles influenced American music in the 60s.
I enjoyed your discourse.
:)

[Chase Dylan]

While I agree that nonsensical rap is not really interesting... There IS quite a niche for people who speak in deep metaphors and twisting rhymes... Like Aesop Rock, for instance. Some writing is for open-ended interpretation, and not everyone uses a rhyme-helper or thesaurus... I, for one, found some rather deep meaning splattered throughout this write... Well penned...

[CK_85]

I did not xD There were some times where my actual ability to be lyrical and deep took over on instinct, but that was accidental. This was basically a diss to one of my friends who does this s**t on the regular, and thinks he's good.

[Chase Dylan]

Ahh, well... We all find our own meanings within words, nicely penned regardless... Careful, you might accidentally inspire your friend, as opposed to dissuading him... If you make it all sound so good each time :3

[Brooklyn]

This is so true. I swear rappers just take rhyming words and just throw it everywhere. It's catchy, but it make absolutely, positively no sense. I definitely agree.

[CK_85]

For the audio: https://soundcloud.com/rap_general/lyrical-rappers-be-like