Lamentations: Musings of an Orphan

She has left me orphaned.
I have been cleaved by half
Drawn and quartered, silenced lips
And nothing is left, nothing at all
But vivid memories of her presence

Now...quiet, hammered patina...

The harsher the growing pains in my wake
The more entrenched she remained.
Devotedly she stood by me, keeping all at bay.
Her battle anthem to these incensed blinded souls
"Let her be! Just let my child be! Go on away!
Ah, Lord, lest sister to none, so be it.
But let her be, for this is my child I must say!"


And oh how she laughed at my angry rampages,
Has this madness killed you? No! But, oh daughter of mine!

(Softly her voice carried the weight of a woman who has lived the nine)

Walk a day in my footsteps and only then you'll know pain.
Single parent of late night forbidden escapades,
Sweeping winds to deadened sails whilst my doldrums,
When encased by misery, stony dreams walled.
A lifetime on the roam lured by foreign bends,
So seldom on the long road back home.
Lingering cadence of a mothers frettings.

Why, oh my daughter, do you not stay?

The warm embraces of my homecomings
This unfailing champion of my past

  When will you turn back, my daughter?

I dont know. Carelessly and often - I muttered.
Forsaken again in pursuit of aimless self-centered vices,
A chapter of lamentations belying a mothers sacrifices
Take care of yourself, my daughter. I cannot hold you back.
Tears banked in her drained gaze, heart time all on sleeve.

What is a childs ignorant fecklessness, without due reason
Compared to a parents unconditional love?
Are we bound to not care, to not know well until
Grief-strickened in black, hapless and abandoned
Onlookers as heavens angels man the final vigil?

Among civilizations living wonders this woman was
Caretaker of childish fears, a stately diplomat in chaos
My fortified citadel, so beautiful so true was this woman
Greatness the trodden hand basin of an embittered clan
Felled in life, hacked down by malicious schisms from deep within
Not more then a common skiff without the eyes of an able captain.

An unforgiving tumultuous storm rages on unabated
Over the cerulean horizon of once upon a time loving home.
I am an embattled mast, whipped and snapped into unforgiveness

My burning regrets drowned by the abyssmal indigo.
Grief undulates wildly, gaping fractures

I beseeched, on my bloodied knees,
How, my God, could so selfless a soul been sent
To a world with ingrates born for children?
How could I have deserved her, my beloved parent?
How can one begin to make amends?
To God, callused hands implored with bottomless sorrow.

As dams careen and shatter in her honor
Through midnights chilling unyielding silence
Remains orphaned by her absence
A child wiser to a mothers eternal love and patience.
An orphan, cleaved by half, muses.

 - Lyn Annterise Porter c.  2004, 2.25 - For My Mother...