Could You?

Could you feel it if i stopped breathing...
 the race of my heart and it's frantic beating
as i begin to fall hard on my knees
i feel the light inside me slowly leave
emptiness replacing bright, hazel eyes
a young girl silenced by a world of goodbyes
but as she stares into the black night sky
             ..........she prays
"god, please. take the pain away.
i dont care if you end my life...im not scared
   and wont wonder why..."
she draws in a breath and slowly cries...
she draws in a breath as she stands to her feet
tear drop marks on the broken concrete.
her wrist throbbing from her very own pain
the girl in the reflection no longer the same...
          "im ready to let go now.."
she whispers with sudden strength.
"no one will ever hold me back,
im giving up what i had.
No longer will i live this life
       with a vision of you before thine eyes..."

Reviews

[Brock Scholte]

I really enjoyed this poem! It really makes you feel the words as you read them...
10/10 adding to my bookshelf.

[Brad Baum]

I'll start in saying that I really enjoyed this poem. I don't find many on here that adhere to a rhyme scheme, so it was a bit of fresh air, really. I know that a lot of writers find that it is a bit too constraining and limiting. I see it as a great challenge. All in all, fantastic write. Especially liked the end, a really good turn starting with "I'm ready to let go".