Untold

Fallen tears for broken dreams;

ugly scars and broken wings

Memories fade into the past;

but the sorrow seems to last

 

Tattered pages of a soul;

bitter tears, Forgotten Roads

The Untold story of a girl

who lived her life in distant world

 

Faded memories of the sea;

curious words and melodies

 

Seasons pass and years unfold,

but the story remains, on the pages,

Untold…

 

Reviews

[Liv]

This is absolutely beautiful, relating the girl to the pages of a book especially speaks to me. The rhyming is also superb. The only thing I would criticize is some of the timing is (slightly) off. Like, try adding "always" to the fourth line, after "to," and see how the timing works just a little bit better? The same with the second to last line, it's a little longer than it should be. But that's the only bad thing I have to say about this fantastic poem!

[Calissa Knox]

I appreciate your input. Thanks for the review, Liv!

[PearlPoet]

"Seasons pass and years unfold,

but the story remains, on the pages,

Untold…"

^^^^^Simply Brilliant... ~hugs~

[Calissa Knox]

Thank you, PearlPoet!

[PearlPoet]

You're very welcome! :)

[Justin]

that was awesome feather!!! it was set up really well, it tells a great story :)

[Calissa Knox]

Thank you, Justin! This was on my mind to write for a while; glad you enjoyed. :)

[Justin]

your welcome, that is awesome how you were able to get it down on here!! i cant wait to read the material you post next!!!!

[Calissa Knox]

Excited to see what you post next, too, Justin! :)

[Justin]

thanks :) it is always exciting to see people post :)

[Michael (Letters and Li..]

This is a masterpiece, Feather. I love it. It's like the story you were telling unfolded and remained hidden at the same time... If that even makes sense. But that's the only way I can describe it because it's beyond words. Just exceptional. My favorite writing from you so far! You are very talented and I am your fan :)

[Calissa Knox]

Thank you so much, Michael, for such inspiring and encouraging words. You're an amazing writer and I am your fan, too! :)

[Michael (Letters and Lifelines)]

Thank you and you're very welcome! :)

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Simply put, fantastic work… we are all dreamers but those dreams are nothing if we don't write them into our book of life.

[Calissa Knox]

Very true. Thanks for the encouragement!

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

You are very welcome.

[Writer at last! Sky ~]

Beautiful poem but just half told, their is always a reason behind every season of life...

[Calissa Knox]

Very true, Skyfall. Thank you.