In Between

A Story by PaperDreams

It's about Claire and Dmitri Castel, who take turns telling the story of how everything transpired: how they met; the moments that led to them falling in love; and everything in between.

2013

I just stood there. In the sea of people, plenty of whom were walking right through me, I simply watched my husband hold another woman in his arms. I allowed my heart to ache one more time. I didn’t know it could still do that. Pain was an unusual sensation. After all, my heart was no longer beating. My knees trembled at the sight. I looked down, closed my eyes. I let the scene sink in and then I was gone.

Chapter I

I woke up with a jolt. Beads of cold sweat trickled down my temples and slowly, without looking, I slid my hand to the other side until it met something warm, slightly coarse. I let out a loud sigh. Was I holding my breath the entire time? He was still there. That was good news.

I looked around and it dawned on me that it was still quite dark. I squinted and looked over at the clock morosely ticking on the bedside table.

“Four in the morning?”

I groaned and sank beneath the covers. I’ve been having these weird nightmares for the past couple of days and I can’t seem to shake the images off.

My husband Dmitri on the other hand was a very deep sleeper and seemed perfectly undisturbed by my tossing and turning. I ran my fingers through his hair and let my gaze fall on his chest, making sure that it continued to rise and fall. I lay down beside him and whispered

“I love you”.

To my surprise, a hand advanced from the small of my back moving up to my shoulders.

“You having nightmares again, Clairdycat?” he said, his eyes still closed, as if still half asleep.

“Third night in a row. But I’m fine now.” Those words were half true. He was there and that was good enough for me. The nightmares weren’t real; this moment was.

“Claire?”

The way he said my name made my heart melt like butter on freshly baked muffins. He need not say more. I looked up. He brushed the hair off my face and then he said, “I love you, too.” His hand pressed against my shoulder like those very words could protect me. “No more bad dreams. I’m here now.” It was sweet. I looked into his eyes and absorbed every single detail my momentarily occupied brain could handle.

When the alarm went off, I was already making the bed. I put on my favourite silk robe that Dmitri's mother, Lena, gave me for our wedding. He always said that I looked “extra” sexy in it which was only a little bit awkward since it was a present from his mom.

Dmitri was already out for his regular morning “jog” with Lupin. His definition of a jog was letting our 4-foot Great Dane drag him around the block and occasionally breaking a sweat when Lupin sees our neighbor’s cat. We’ve had too many a phone calls from Mrs. Morisco. Something about traumatizing her cat, Princess Rowena.

He usually came back at around 7. I was just about to get the glasses from the cupboard when a pair of arms locked around my waist from behind and quickly lifted me up. I was so startled I let out a girly high-pitched scream. When my feet landed once again on the tiled-floor, he gave me a soft peck on the neck.

“Hey sexy,” he whispered soft and playful enough so I was the only one that could hear.

I faced him this time. I wanted to protest but it was hard to look annoyed when butterflies are fluttering in your stomach and your smile’s stretched to divide your face in half.

“Jerk,” I pushed his handsomely chisled face away and I forced a frown. It just didn’t work. I gestured towards the table.

“You’re just in time. It’s cheese and pancake day so, tada! It’s called Bryndza- sheep’s milk! They had it at Dana's shower. You know? Cali’s sister. Anyway, it’s to die for".

I sat down, ready to devour, and looked up at him. He was still standing and he was looking at me with an expression that was clearly a mix of guilt and utter excitement.

“What? Come on, before it gets cold.”

He kept his gaze at me as he sat down and then blurted out,

“I got the job at Simpkins Publishing!”

And with a hairpin-like curve, I found myself floating, ecstatic and close to tears.

“How, when was this?”

He was pacing across the kitchen now like he couldn’t stand to stay in one place. He’d wanted this job since before we got married.

“Like ten minutes ago, when I was out with Lupin. They want to meet tomorrow for lunch at the Chinese restaurant, you know, the one that’s next to the Greek place we love- !”

He looked like a kid who found out that classes were suspended and that Santa Claus was actually real. I had a soft spot for that face. With a smile I told him how proud I was and placed two slices of cheese neatly on his plate.

“I know.” I beamed at him. “We should celebrate. Tonight. How’s that sound?”

With that question, I set things in motion. This would be our very last breakfast together. This day would punctuate all the cheese and pancake days we’ve had over the 3-year course of our marriage. This day would have been perfect. If only he hadn’t said,

“It sounds great, love.”

© 2014 PaperDreams

Author's Note

I'm still kind of rough around the edges. It isn't finished yet and to be honest, I'm taking it day by day. I'm currently working on the next chapter. Tell me what you think: grammar, punctuation, irregularities, the whole story. everything.

thanks :)

My Review

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Featured Review

LawrenceRaybon

This is a good start to a longer story. I like the foreshadowing at the end and the way the two main characters act and speak seems really natural.

That being said, please reformat this to be easier to read. Right now what you have is what is called 'a brick of text'. A lot of people will take one look at something like this a move right along. I had a hard time looking for grammar/punctuation/style errors because it's so difficult to read. Go through and indent the beginnings of paragraphs and put dialogue (spoken lines) on their own line. You might want to also put a blank line between each paragraph and line of dialogue just to make things even easier to read. If you need an example you can look at my story 'Rain Man' 'http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/LawrenceRaybon/1343244/' it is by no means perfect but it is formatted to be easily read.

One other thing I saw, the line, "It was sweet. I looked into his eyes and absorbed every single detail my momentarily occupied brain could handle. It was a good thing I did. Dmitri and I didn’t know that it would be the very last time." is a bit too much foreshadowing too early. When Dmitri comes back after the run I felt a little betrayed because I thought they weren't going to see each other again.

Please send me a message after you have reformatted it and I'll do a more in depth review looking for the more technical things you asked for...

TTFN,
Lawrence