The Beast Inside of Me

I feel that everyone has a beast inside of them. This is just a little piece that happens to be about mine.

It yells at my mistakes.

Makes me feel shame over my own being.

It carries my imagination where it should dare not wander.

Where it makes me think that every whisper, 

every laugh,

and every secret shared are about me.

It makes my flaws more prominent.

Makes me regret smiling.

Makes me regret saying what should have been said.

It makes me someone less confident.

It poisons my mind with lies

that I don't even realize 

that I was the one

 to whisper it in my own ear.

It twists what people say,

makes me realize that I'm just like them.

Just like the mean b*****s who pushes everyone, including me, around.

It makes me mean. 

Makes me say things that I regret saying when I wake up the next morning.

It  kills me. 

It enjoys seeing me being ripped to shreds

from the inside out.

There is only one way to kill it,

and I think I finally figured it out.

Although it is still there,

my mind is separate from its mind.

Even though we both inhabit the same thing.

My mind is what is trying to kill it.

Although some days it laughs at me,

makes me less confident,

twists what people say,

and takes my imagination away.

My mind,

instead of making my flaws more prominent,

it's helping me realize the good in me.

It's telling me that I am beautiful,

and I'm not a self-centered person by tinking so.

It tells me that I am smart. 

Even though I don't get every question right in every class.

It tells me that I am strong.

Even though I don't win every arm wrestle.

There are different definitions of strong.

It tells me that I am not a terrible person,

just because I make mistakes.

It's human to make mistakes.

It tells me that I am funny.

Even though sometimes I don't make sense.

It tells me that I am loved.

Even though soetimes I want to scream and yell at the heavens

for giving me this life.

It tells me that I am not like them.

I do not follow the crowd, 

and I am unique in everything I do.

It tells me not to listen to what other people say,

because that doesn't matter.

My mind is the only thing keeping me strong.

It tells me everything that any average human being chooses to ignore.

It is also killing the poison.

Killing the beast inside of me.

Author's Note

I apologize for any mistakes, and especially confusion. This is just something that popped into my head and I didn't give much thought to. So please no hate! Constructive critisim, yes, but down ight hate, no thank you.