Nightmare

January 25, 2012

   Why cant I wake up from this nightmare? I'm slowly dieing and it seems most everyone just keeps moving on. I think I'm giving up on almost everyone. Don't care at all when people yell at me. Don't care when they tell me to do something. Don't care about colleges right now. I just want to fix what's been broken, then hopefully I'll be able to move then. I feel more at home when I'm at school then at my house. My house is nothing like home. Not only is home where the heart is, it's also a place. Comfort and safety. Well I feal nether of that now. I feel they don't care what I want. And So I don't care what they want. It's my life I'm living, not there's. So leave me alone. Let me have the one thing that was taken from me and everything will be fine. I just lay there every night, and cry. I hold what I have left close and won't let it go. My eyes hurt now from so much crying. I can't help it tho, tears just fall out of my eyes. I guess I messed up my life back then so is this my punishment? Cuz being do alone wasn't enough then? Please just let it end soon. I'm breaking down and about to snap at someone soon. I don't wanna have that happen. There's many of bottles that will burst open onto them. Just ranting to myself. None of this really even matters. Nothing changing. Of anything it's getting worse day by day. Just two years? It feels like its been so long already. One hundred and thirty three days or something like that till I'm done with this place. Them bout another month thill I can get away completely. Then another year till I can be truly home. Why can't I just wake up now? And have this nightmare end already and be home...