Painted Echoes, Scents of Sin

Perhaps now finished in my mind...

I sent her a letter every day, penned by the heart and inked with a soul.
Such whispered words of echoes none recall,
Fading into time where love can't remain.
A drifting symphony of nowhere, never pain.

I shall not want, I cannot want,
The cold in her,
Where the darkness feels so wrong.
Inked in blood,
There the nothingness belongs.

I paint her a dream which words cannot say, brush strokes of steel and colored coal.
These vistas of fantasy and pigments befall,
Wounding the wings of doves that lie,
'Neath bronze hued canopy of shifting, weeping sky.

I shall not write, I should not write,
My love to her,
Where eternity mirrors fair a sight.
Caught in time,
There, the forgotten ones tonight.

I composed her a song even silence cannot slay, tunes of thought and bells only memory can toll.
The sirens sing and beckoning enthrall,
All fears and hopes and more,
Calling you and calling you to softest, ebony shore.

I shall not have, I cannot have,
My only, her,
Where signs of shadows lair.
Lost and cold,
There that golden tower stair.

I sent her a letter every day, bled now a heart and dead black the soul.
Clutch blistered lips that miseries nigh did maul,
Fading with the shine where love did die within.
A failed gift of Painted Echoes, Scents of Sin.

Author's Note

Inspired by the poem "A Letter Every Day" by Dewella~Vintella and myself, Caradoc.

For anyone that wishes to read the piece that inspired this. Enjoy.

http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/Vinny%20Rune/773454/

Reviews

[Dewella~Vintella]

This was fantastic, Cara! With reading the first line I knew where the base of this came from, but you took it to a whole new level. I remember when we first did A Letter Every Day, reading this is like reading it older, more mature brother.

Its amazing, to sit a read something that we wrote in the past years, and compare it to something we now have written. Maybe you dont see it yourself, but you, as well as your writing, has grown. ^^ Its amazing. And not to be too cocky, but knowing that I helped inspire something like this in even the smallest way slaps a cheesy grin on my face.

I honestly dont have words on how much I love this piece, the emotion, the flow. And the story it tells with each passing line. Perfect.

~Dew

[Caradoc]

The lines wouldn't leave me be after we created Song of Sadness. It reminded me of A Letter Every Day so much that I kept going back and rereading those two paragraphs over and over. I was hit with an urge to write a poem from the man's point of view after the fact, a continuation of what you did.

At first, words came but the stanzas and rhymes were all wrong. I was doing my usual style of lined up down the left side. Then I realized it needed to follow in the format of its inspiration so I made longer sentences and centered it. The idea to switch up the "I shall not write" parts was something that came to me when I was reading A Letter Every Day. The rhythm was just so different from the rest so I did what I did here.

Wow, I'm carrying on, lol. Suffice it to say, I could never have done this without you. So thanks. :)

[Leslie Philibert]

Fine write, like the original structure with the complementary verses and the good imagery, you did very well here.

[Caradoc]

Thank you very much for the read and review. I'm glad you liked it. May you have a wonderful day.

[Brandon S. Whitten]

This is an excellent read and write. The feel of reading this with ink still wet after dipping a quill into the ink of your soul.

[Caradoc]

Thank you very much for reading and reviewing this piece. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

[Pax]

this is so beautiful! an absolute pleasure to read. a feeling of love, sadness and lost, mixed together perfectly.
Great work.

[Caradoc]

Thank you much. I put a lot into this one. In a way, it challenged me.

[Pax]

some past sticks to the heart remains as a memory. maybe the challenge was writing it differently and hiding something i guess..

and your very much welcome

[Caradoc]

You see much.

If you have any enemies, which I'm sure someone with your skill and talent does, they would be fools to underestimate your mind.

[Pax]

:) not so much, just following the thoughts like reading between the lines. thanks

[MOON]

This is so lovely , delicate to be read and savoured
Beautiful

[Caradoc]

I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for the read and review.

[Palm Tree]

I think this poem is my favorite one of yours now :) Different from your usual styles. I haven't read the poem that this is inspired by yet. But I am assuming its written in the same style?

[Caradoc]

Very close yes. I just expanded upon some of the things from that poem. Please do read A Letter Every Day. It's a nice, short and sad piece.

[Mia]

This is just magical! I could read this poem a thousand times and then some more! I can't quote my favourite lines because your entire poem would be included. The longing is so evident and I love the way you're fighting that longing.
"I shall not write, I should not write,
My love to her,"
So powerful! I love this, all of it!

[Caradoc]

Would you believe me if I said I wasn't actually feeling the emotions evident in this piece when I wrote it? Sure it sort of reminds me of something from my past, but I never wrote them any letters. It just...flowed when I read an old poem Dewella~Vintella and I worked on before.

Thanks for reading and reviewing. I'm so glad you enjoyed it. It was fun to make this piece.

[Mia]

That's almost unbelievable! I would love to be able to do that, especially with my stories...if I'm not feeling the emotions I can't write them, which prolongs my writers block for time to time. It was an absolute pleasure!

[Tai Ryens]

I couldn't help but feel a varying range of emotions; from nostalgia to depression, regret to reminiscing, love to heartbreak, just simply a lovely twist of poetic plot. I am not exactly sure what portrait you've attempted to paint with words here, but the last symphony written by a musician comes to mind once I had focused enough to grasp the concept a bit. For instance, say, my future wife (may or may not be nonexistent, depending on if I even have a future of course) was a talented musician who had took her own life. Had I not discovered the last music sheet sheet composed by her before the cursed day, I possibly could have moved on without an inkle of a stain of her in my past. However, upon discovery, I held onto it as if it defined my existence; as it slowly defined my existence . . .
Astounding. My apologies for having rambled on.

[Caradoc]

No need to apologize. I too am a victim of a rambling commentary more often than I would want. Thank you for the read and the detailed review. That you felt such a breadth of emotion from reading this and that it filled your mind with a tale is high point for my night. I feel as if I have done my job as a writer.

Be well.

[Coyote Poetry]

The poem is amazing. I had to read again. I like the feel of regret and desire in the sames poem. Love can blind us and leave us with hope. I like the use of writing to her to strengthen the purpose of the poem. I like the strong ending to the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[Caradoc]

Thank you very much. This one was very enjoyable to write. I've never done a rhyme scheme like the ones it contains before, so that was a new experience.

[Mia]

That's almost unbelievable! I would love to be able to do that, especially with my stories...if I'm not feeling the emotions I can't write them, which prolongs my writers block for time to time. It was an absolute pleasure!