A Poem by Carmalou

Story of death...with a twist ;)



            Red brown emotion reveals fiery eyes upon a star lit night


            The pale horse rides through. Fast, faster still, journey incomplete


Slap! Sends a wave of chestnut hair to the floor falling to the floor. The pale skin imprinted red, follows to the floor


Hurry, rider, hurry! You mustn’t be late! Run faster, Pale Horse


A brown boot kicks her ribs. This one will end differently than the others


A second kick, a third. Tonight he will not stop, even when, tipping back his bottle, he misses his mouth

Again he kicks her. A scream is to be heard. Pain is all she feels, red anger swells up and bursts, pulsing purple through the room


His hand rises for a final time to end her bruised, broken life


Hurry, Rider, hurry! Death’s afoot, this cold night. Run faster, Pale Horse!


His hand falls, but misses the mark. The mark, herself, found strength for one last fight


Almost there, Pale Horse


Stumbling, she rises for one final time. Standing, she raises her small hands for The Fight


The Pale Horse arrives! The Rider jumps off his horse and runs inside, however unseen


He laughs at her defiance to her fate. His laughter rises to a startling high crescendo when… A contraction of the heart, another, and another yet!

He crumples to the floor, fighting with all his might.


And Death, riding his Pale Horse away with His prize, laughs at the man and his defiance of his fate.




© 2009 Carmalou

Author's Note

It's kind of experimental so I ignored normal grammar rules..
Also, this is one of few poems I've ever written without a clear title. Suggestions?

My Review

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This is pretty cool ^^ I like the format, and it took a sec for me to understand it but that's probably just because I'm kind of tired XD Anyway, as for the title maybe something like "Faster, Pale Horse" or something along those lines :)

Posted 11 Years Ago

Interesting concept. Well written. I like the format. Fun read :)

Posted 11 Years Ago

wow!! this was really a good read. if only every such story would end like this one did!!

as to a sugestion of a title: "The Pale Ridder."


Posted 11 Years Ago

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3 Reviews
Added on February 6, 2009
Last Updated on February 6, 2009




I am a college student, though I am not currently studying a specific subject. I would like to study several, (biology, nursing, history, literature) but until I find a specific one I can stick with, .. more..

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A Chapter by Carmalou

Chapter Three Chapter Three

A Chapter by Carmalou