Clover

a haiku...with an added twist!

Lucky leaf clover

A lucky little pleasure

Blowing luck's cover

Author's Note

Do you guys think "Blowing luck's lover" would have been a better last line? Be honest!

Reviews

[Becky C Strukamp]

A beautiful work as it stands. wouldnt change a thing! few words speaking volume!

[Cascara (aka Sprint Goes Cascading!)]

thanks!

[Sami Khalil]

Minimal , but speaks volumes.

[Michael G.]

A good read and thought as it is.
To change the last line would mean you would have to change who could read it... and who wants that?

[Ruth]

Ohhh yes!!!
I think you are superb at this form, takes focus to deliver so much within a minimal form and I love this :)
I like the line as you have it :)
xoxo

[Winter]

I like it. Good Pen. "A lucky little pleasure" When i read this i think of love. And how lucky some of us can or had experienced it.

[caroline]

Yeah I think blowing lucks lover would have been cooler but good play on words.

[storiestotell]

I like it the way it is, very creative poem.

[MandaBear]

I think it should be left as is. Just fine the way you wrote it great write

[R.A. Youngblood]

This is so meaningful and colorful! My fav line is "Blowing luck's cover"!
Nothing else to say, just wonderful!
Thanks for sharing..Keep it up :D

[Leslie Philibert]

Fine poem. leave it as it is !