Russian roulette

Life is taking chances. We will fall many times. If we are lucky. We will know peace one day.

                                  Russian roulette

Beautiful young woman dances on a stage on the border of Austin.
Moving like a butterfly in the breeze.
Holding the attention of the men holding tight to good whiskey and the gin.

A religious man sits with me drinking Jack Daniel straight.
He is telling me the rapture is coming and  it is too late.

I hold my whiskey tight.
Watching the young woman on stage.
I waved a five dollar bills. She come near.
Brought my face close. She whispered. "Thank you Johnnie. You are a gem."'

The darkness had overtook me.
I told my sisters many ways to die.
Can play Russian roulette with a mirror or slowly poison the blood and the mind.
Fast death or slow. Old world is playing Russian roulette with us anyway.

I watched old Soldiers die from wounds by the old wars.
They drank for themselves and friends lost in the dirt of Korean and Vietnam war.
The old boys didn't complain.
I watched many die and I wonder would they repeat their life as it was?

The girl with the big blue eyes sat on my lap.
She asked for me to read her a poem.
I laughed and told her. "I will write a new one for you my blue eye princess."

I ordered a Jack with no ice and a coke for my dancer friend.
I asked her does she want a love poem? An erotic  poem or a poem of
misery and chance?
She smiled and kissed my cheek. Requested a poem of misery and tears.

        Russian roulette

The gun is loaded.
Old heart is gone.
Nothing is left.
I roll the chamber.
I know there is three bullets in my father's old 32.

I pray for one damn good reason to be alive.
No-one answered. Nothing appeared in my mind or heart.
The silence mean there is nothing left.

Old 32 pistol is very old.
Dad carry the side arm for 30 years.
It had been sitting in a safe place waiting.

I hold the gun in my hand.
Was it a savior or a bad ending?
I drink from the bottle of Black velvet.
I looked to the sky.
Told God. No Russian roulette today.
Ain't a good day to die.
 
The end.

I asked my beautiful dancer.
Did the poem have enough misery and sadness?

My friend lay her head into my chest and soft tears begin to fall.
She whispered. "Yes it did. Please don't leave my kind and sad Poet."
I told her. I will stay as long as you need me near.

                               Coyote

Author's Note

I was a Soldier for 15 years. I traveled to the four corners of the USA and most of this world. I met good people. Many people become part of the wood work. Invisible to the eyes of regular people. I was saved by them.

Reviews

[Roshan Nair]

I didnt know you were a soldier my friend. I have come to respect this post all the more now and it means all the more to me. I am a great supporter of the soldiers life and am an avid reader of war literature by veterans, albeit my exposure is humblingly limited to a few books on NAVY Seals. here's my other non-poetry based blog where I have written about them, check them out if you feel like it: http://neo-nair.blogspot.in/2015/01/chronicles-of-worlds-most-elite.html

Your words paint a life in themselves here. It really connected with me. The emotions and degrees of them faced by soldiers is something the world always struggles to empathize with. Great job with the piece!

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Roshan. I appreciate the comment. I will check out your blog site. Being a soldier was a small part of finding the bad edge. All people have battles to be fought.

[Eric Cox]

Strong story and emotions within, the misery we can feel and the kindness of a woman, nicely done.

[Coyote Poetry]

The kindness of woman keep us sane. Thank you for reading and the comment.

[Eric Cox]

You're welcome.

[smurfett]

Fantastic write poet. So much insight and love. Nicely penned.

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you smurfett. Old poem and memories allow us to write good poetry.

[Lydia Shutter]

What a moving write this is, Coyote. No one knows how a chance encounter can save a life. The sweetness of that dancer saved him.....and even if he never saw her again, she had a huge impact on his life. Unfortunately, even soldiers who come home from the war are often casualties of it. "Not a good day to die"....I am pleased it was not. Powerful poetry! Lydi**

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Lydia. All of us need kindness and a friend.

[Lydia Shutter]

Very true....and your compassionate soul comes through in all your poetry.

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Wow! Another experience of being a soldier and a good poet. I like the attitude of the speaker here specially in the last part:
"I told her. I will stay as long as you need me near."

How many people could do something for the good of others? If someone ask you something for his joy, could people do it?

You have that kind heart...a good heart of a soldier.
Nice poem!

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you. I like being a Soldier. Easy to find equal par with people in dark and lonely places.

[Rose of many colours]

What a difference other people can make in ones life, you lay a troubled heart to a dancer rather than a man who know about God..Her tears was a balm upon thy heart...Thanks for sharing..

[Coyote Poetry]

A man who know God shouldn't be in strip clubs. Many hypocrites. Good people hide behind fake smiles and bad jobs. Real friends are made and kept. Thank you for reading and the comment.

[Rose of many colours]

You are wecome, I understand;when I left my husband of 23 years of marriage.I became a scorn to the people in the church.They were mad as hell,words of condemnation were slung like mud in my face. I took that for two years. and eventually couldnt bear it no more and had to leave.My huaband was very abusive and was on numerous ocassion he threatened to kill me.

[Just Jayren]

It's startling how mauch I invested to this excellent work. You really get the stratified sense here, as each layer is mor complex and thought out as the one before.

Incredibly sophisticated and somewhat personal.

Fantastic work

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Jayren for reading and the comment. I believed I improved. I have been almost four years on the W.C. I appreciate the kind people who had assisted me in the improvement of my work.

[TL Boehm]

no Russian roulette today. Ain't a good day to die. Such a powerful poem.

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you for reading my old poetry. I like to dig out a old one on occasion.

[Frieda P]

I'm left speechless after reading this John, I can't articulate how it made me feel, I felt as though I was there in this poem with you throughout the entire read, the ending is smashing, the entire read is outstanding....can't say enough my friend. This is one of my favorites of yours and I will return to read it again.

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Frieda. Rewriting poetry from the early nineties. Old stories seem far away today.

[Frieda P]

You know how to write a story Coyote, this drew me in, they always remain our stories though, don't they.....

[Dye]

What a profound write Coyote. The image of the scene and the sense of sadness is really felt in this one. The poem within filled with what feels like desperation was just as strong on it's own as the entire piece together. Nicely penned story.

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Dye. Old journals from the past. Old poetry with a re-write. Funny how the past can feel like fiction when we are far away from it.

[Dye]

You are very welcome Coyote. Funny indeed, but a good thing I think. Better to feel like fiction than to relive some moments over and over again. I truly enjoyed it, thank you for sharing it.

[Ed Hart]

you've grown sweet in your old age

[Coyote Poetry]

I'm not too sweet and easy yet. Still some fight and living left. Old thoughts from a old journal written with better skill I hope. Thank you for reading and the comment.