Father's eyes

It is hard not to follow your Father's footsteps. But we must sometimes.

                       Father's eyes and anger
                        7 April 2009
 
   (Part one. Wiser and smarter man.  Need to think before we speak. Words can be like knifes to the heart and
soul.)
 
Is my Father's eyes and anger.
Are they mine's now?
 
I told you.
I loved you.
I needed you.
 
Love should bring love.
 
Violence.
A hidden demon.
Can strike without thought.
 
Sweet friend.
Kind lover.
Did you see the monster?
 
I tried to lock the demon up.
He tried to escape.
 
I must walk away for a moment.
Deep breathe and counting to ten.
 
My world is falling apart.
Like my Father's world did too.
He took the bad road.
Pissed off and violence.
 
I will keep quiet.
Do my best to stay strong.
Ain't easy when your world is falling down around you.
 
We need kind words.
We need a lot of patience.
A lot of love.
 
I will pray to the God of life and death
Give me wisdom and strength.
 
                  Coyote
 
                        My Father
 
                Written on 19 November 1989
 
When I look into the mirror.
Do I see you my father?
 
Have I become what I despised all my life?
Have my eyes.
Your violence become mine's.
 
Everyday I learn more loss.
Loss of dreams.
Lost of desires.
 
Will I become like you?
Give up.
Show spirit only when I'm violence or excited?
 
Can I stop my journey to man-hood?
My eyes from hiding tears.
Gentleness.
 
Have I travel too far?
Is the blood too strong?
 
Am I destine to hurt everyone?
I have loved.
 
If I chose my own road.
Why do I follow my father sadness.
 
                        Coyote
 
 
 
 
I
 
 
 
 

Author's Note

I was lucky. I learn from my father what not to be. His world was a hard journey. Between War and being a Mexican/Ojibwa man in a world filled with hate for race and color. In the end he did Ok. Took 50 years for him to find peace.

Reviews

[DIVYA]

Violent people are sad people and they leave great scars on those who are vulnerable to them. We carry so much of the hurt inflicted on us by our elders, especially our parents. My heart goes out to the son who has suffered so much at the hands of his father and is struggling not to become like him. He is worried that he carries his father within him and may fall into the same violent ways. But I think that the very fact that he is thinking about it is enough to keep him from becoming violent himself. Its the thought that counts, dear Coyote. Of course, there are regrettable incidents in everyone's lives but a few actions do not define an entire man and you're certainly the opposite of violent. A man full of compassion and love for his fellow beings. I hope you have found the peace you so deserve and so has your father. Thank you so much for sharing your amazing journey.

[Coyote Poetry]

I did fine peace dear and kind Divya. Four children and six children made me a kind grandfather. Thank you dear friend for reading and the comment.

[DIVYA]

I'm so happy for you, my friend. Good things happen for good hearted people. You're most welcome.

[Jacqueline Lopez]

Now, this is intense and I love it. I love how you question if you're turning into your father, even though your father was filled with anger Am I destined to hurt everyone (father), but I can still feel your love for him.

[Corey Bowen]

I really understand where u are comin from in this peice of work my father wasnt there for but yet I stayed strong for my mother and other brothers n sister and I;m the youngest of 5, I told myself not grow up and be like him and as you read my poem Im A Blessin shows n tells how I became a man without him, so I really respect you for what u have written here

[Honeypot]

Yeah, I get this. Sometimes our parents teach us what no to be. It speaks well of you that you know not to repeat the same tired mistakes. This was very touching and a real pleasure to read. Thanks for sharing it. My favorite line was "I try to lock the demon up.He tries to escape." Simple words, but a really deep meaning. Loved this!

[Lucy Kennedy]

Very touching and poetic. I really enjoyed reading it. Thank you also for the review. I appreciate it.

[Esha]

This was really one of the great poetry work i have read so far....

[LeeLee Ryder]

Bravo, El Coyote... I love this line: Words can be like knifes to the heart & soul... it's so true..
A moving, heartfelt search of self thru your father's eyes, so to speak...
(I, myself question and wonder if my parent's tremulous lives will get the best of me...)
but I do FOCUS on the best part of them and try to bring 'em it out in me...
This a beautifully haunting journey and I'm glad your father did finally find peace....
Thanks for sharing..
Leelee
PS: Check out my poem: Daddy's Eyes if U would..

[EILEEN McGUINNESS]

A very impressive piece of writing here with the emphasis on a personal relationship between you and your father,i guess we can often learn from mistakes that our guardians have made, but in all honesty i think there is an ellement of self indulgence and the willingness to try something with a learn by error mentality in young human nature rather than accepting sound solid advice.
My father still offers me advice even now in his 70's and i seldom listen to it thought there are words of wisdom and he means well i am sure.Thanks for sharing an excellent write

[deeps]

This is such a strong powerful write here i can really feel the emotion you have put into this write. I guess I Should be lucky to have the dad I had. Rest his soul. I couldn't imagine what it would be lke. Strong emotion you have put into this.

[Bud]

This we share in common. I, too have chose to not follow those particular footsteps. Though I have simulated others unintentionally. Wow! How this one hit me in the heart like a train. I feel this one so very much. I still have many issues with that man to this day... I big pat on the back, and a loud, "Good going!" for your making the effort to stop the cycle of one of life's greatest foes... domestic violence. Again, courage and bravery are at hand. Your work here is beyond a any words to place on the proper pedestal. A most Honorable, and greater than Worthy piece this is. A standing ovation I do give you, multiple times.

[Vertu Rose]

"I will keep quiet.
Do my best to stay strong.
Ain't easy when your world is falling down around you."

That is how I feel most of my days along side my mother. So thank you for capturing those difficult emotions into a flowing river that is your poetry.