Dreaming of Scotland

For a sweet woman. I won't forget.

                       Dreaming of Scotland

She was as pretty as a picture.
Fate had brought her to me at a dark tavern in Germany.
Her raging brown eyes and
auburn hair across gentle and soft shoulders.
Her fragrance of flowers open my senses to her beauty.

Her Scottish accent made me wish to hear her sweet voice.

I was told to be kind to her.
Love was dead to me.
I was infected with rage and hate.

I tried to escape her beautiful face.
Drinking and trying to blind my hunger for happiness.
She found me at the tavern.

She wrapped her arms around me.
Kissed my neck, face and lips.
She whispered "Love is a powerful storm.
Please don't speak and allow us to love."

In the mist of softness and opening new doors to joy and bliss.
Sometime you forget to create a safety net to protect  yourself
 and your sweet love.

A warm Germany summer allow two people to fall into the mercy
of a sweet love. Swim in the gifts young hearts can understand .

Summer was ending.
My Scotland beauty was going home.

She told me of Scotland.
The beauty of the country and the good people.

I told her.
I wanted her forever.
I talked of marriage.

Love took my hand.
She whispered.
"We had a short time to stay together.
I allow you into my heart. Sometime words don't mean a lot.
Love never does died. It only falls  asleep till we can open the
door again."

She went home.
I got lost in the booze and liquor.
Allowed the deserved load of pain to overtake my kindness.

I still went to the small lake.
And I dream of Scotland.

                     Coyote
                     2010

Author's Note

A old story from 1979. If you see mistakes. I appreciate the help.

Reviews

[Fabian G. Franklin]

I like the general write but the piece has tense issues which need to be resolved. It jumps from present to past tense and back like a cricket on a hot stove. You should pick one tense and try to stick to it throughout the verse. You should try also to avoid punctuating fragments but add them as coherent parts of sentences within the write. An example is this, "Her raging brown eyes." This is not a sentence but a fragment. Since a period ends a sentence it has no place at the end of a fragment, do you see? It would be better to say, "She had raging brown eyes and auburn hair across..." and make both those fragments one sentence.
The sentiments expressed are lovely but the form and structure of the write need work. "To write is human; to edit divine" Stephen King You have such a beautiful and natural gift for words and expressions and you have exceptional talent as a writer but it does not replace skill at a craft which requires it. Good writing is a craft, make no mistake. Tense and syntax and semantics may seem like boring considerations but they are tools. And if you've ever worked on anything you know that you can't do the job without the right tool. Writing is no different. So...familiarize yourself with the tools of your trade and you can become an expert craftsman and wordsmith easily with your already impressive natural talent for the job. Peace my friend, F.G.

[Amy Bumpas]

Oh, summer love...I remember those times. You sometimes
you won't make it, but one does, and the memories are
just as precious.

[Blue tailed kite]

Awesome poem!! Loved this one through and through, its so heart felt...

[Star Wolf]

A very sad poem, made me teary reading it. If only those we love could stay with us always.

[Tina Kline]

A very beautiful poem that is so very sad. It seems like a bittersweet memory.

[Jasmine]

you write with such emotion and describe the imagery so that it's tangible. great work, once again.

[Desert Dreamer]

A beautiful story of a lost love, but I find hope in the lines,
"Sometime words don't mean a lot.
Love never does die. It only falls asleep till we can open the
door again",
I hope you find peace in those dreams of Scotland. I like this ending, dreaming of Scotland, it leaves me in a world of imagination.

[Antonio Valentino]

I loooove Scotland! And all the british isles for that matter!

Yes, these countries are geographically and historically beautiful, but it is the people, especially the women, who make this one of the most wonderful and gorgeous locales on this planet.

Fantastic write my friend, you have such a wonderful spirit.

This place just wouldn't be as great as it is, without you.
Thanks for being you my friend!

Antonio :)

[Jewel Ailiyah-Celeste L..]

Hello there,

I really love this piece of work. I think that you gave it a beautiful touch with describing nature. But yet, I still have some questions (these might be a little opinionated).

1. You have put too much of "love" in there...I mean, I know this poem is about a girl that you loved, but it has to be balanced out...I suggest that instead of having this much of the word "Love" but put in one stanza of how you feel. Then people might be able to feel what they are reading.
2. I don't think that the last line: "And I dreams of Scotland" is grammatically correct. You should write: "And I DREAM of Scotland."

Other than that: the poem is great!

[Sweet_pale_cacophony]

I love how you write with such rare sensitivity Coyote,there is always a lingering melancholy and vulnerability to your words.You often write of your past encounters,i wonder if writing is a way of healing or purging for you..as it is for me.Your honest and kind soul reflects in your words.

[RTB]

it was good i didnt see any mistakes probably cuz i dnt look for them anyway it was good the guy poppin pills over it was kinda odd tho hahaha idk y but wen i think of pple poppin pills i laugh but thats all my head other then that it had a great conclusion and starting and body haha good job!