Killed and killed

A true and sad story of the permanent wounds of war.

Killed and killed

On Friday night my father drank his rum.

He would come and wake me up late in the night.

I watched him and listen to his war stories.

He would start calling out to lost friends.

I would sit and pity him for his great pain.

.He drank every night to try to hide the burden.

He told me. " I enlisted son, I don't know why for Korea and stay a second tour.

The blood infested my soul.

I killed and killed.

I watched my friends die."

He would sit alone and talk to ghost of men left in un-marked graves.

I would carry him to bed.

He would whisper " they are not coming home."

My father had no fear.

He was a hard and cold man who loved laughter and woman.

God, those memories drove him crazy.

When he quit drinking he never talks of war.

He told me ' no-one cares about his time in the war.

He was another crazy Indian man killing for the USA.

Ain't no rewards now or then."

My father held all his Army decoration with great pride.

He was proud to defend his country.

He said " I know soldiers must fight to keep us free."

My father died a young man of 61 years old.

The old Soldiers came and gave him a 21 gun salute.

I wonder would he trade the nightmares and the blood on his hands to be clean of a war never won.

                       COYOTE

                     1998

Reviews

[Dakota]

So many in every generation feel no one cares about their time in war. The entire piece slammed home for me for reasons you're aware of, good friend. Your last line will probably remain one of life's unanswered questions. Would they honestly trade it all in for a moment's peace from the haunting regrets and nightmares? No matter what the answer is there are those of us who do care, wholeheartedly and to us their sacrifice will always matter. Thank you for this Coyote, thank you.

[Art]

Each soldier carries his burden to their grave...sadly this repetitive life is filled to the brim with stories of realistic death...

nice work...

[Chirinos20]

war always leave scares in the souls of all of those who have gone and experience them. They don't ever go away. A great poem. thanks for sharing!!

[Vicky Zhuang Yi-Yin]

wow, the emotions for both the characters in this poem are flowing in each word in this piece. I love how you made this a story. The last line, I wonder everyday, but not just for one person, but for the whole world, could we just trade the nightmares of war for war that would have no victors and no losers, just peace. Although I know that's not possible. But anyway, excellent poem. Thanks for sharing it. Good writings to you!
-Yin

[Ice QueenJen]

Wow, this was a writing to ponder over. And I never knew Indians fought for the USA, against them or against another tribe when neccessary. A harsh reality is any war worth fighting or dieing for?

Nice write from 98 too!

[Joy]

Beautiful poem. I love the way you talk of him - from the view of a child forced into being a caregiver (carry him to bed), as though he was not as strong as you say he was. Its almost like getting a glimpse of tenderness from an old tough guy. Very nice!

[Fabian G. Franklin]

I like the subject matter and the story, but there are so many tense issues and plural/singular errors that accompany all of your writing that I cannot in honesty call this a "great piece". It would be and could be if some attention were given to syntax and construction but you refuse to address those issues. It is the same with everything that I have ever read by you; great thought process and wonderful idealism in butchered English. I'd like to see you improve as a writer and in your usage of the English language. You COULD be an excellent writer if you would apply some effort to the construction of your works but evidently you don't think your writing worth the effort. I do. And I am greatly discouraged that evidently you do not. I won't bother pointing out specifics because I have done so in the past and my advice went unheeded but I will say this to every reviewer who reviewed this piece before me. You are NOT helping this very talented poet in heaping praise upon a writing so carelessly constructed. And every editor worth his or her salt would heartily agree with me. A pat on the back is all good and fine but it will never replace thorough, articulate and constructive criticism. I would rate this 100% if the errors were not there. But with the errors 75% is as good as I can offer and I think under the circumstances that is being generous. Your great talent is a terrible thing to waste by not applying the common principles of grammar. And I only bothered to review this because of your request. You can respect my honest opinion or not. But I refuse to negotiate over the truth or say, "this is just wonderful" when it is not. It could be...and that is the saddest part.

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

what strikes me most is how~ despite circumstance and condition~ the poem is constructed on a trellis of compassion and respect~for which I have great admiration~it is easy to disassemble the broken~ it is much more difficult to put their pieces back together and present a composite whole to better relate the deeper layers of a happenstance~such thoughtful care given to each line~and the subject matter . . . . deep sigh from me~ I went through a lot of that with Eagle~ over a span of 8 years ~

[Huggy Bear]

I am srry for your loss. You eloquently wrote out these feelings so well. Good Job

[Cherry Blossom]

this is so wonderful and true most people dont want to hear the truth of war and that is the truth of being home they see the wor in there mind but its so real like they are right there again I do care deeply about the storys and the men that lost their life to war and the onces who made it out alive and died years later and knowing that people dont seem to care You did a amazing job on this good work!

[Cynthia]

Very Nice poem!
It touches me much