Friends

A poem about the facades of your friends

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Deceptive demons destroying my heart

Plotting and preparing to tear it apart

Their Wisdom that’s false and intonation for the fool

But never could I believe them be cruel

 

 Unspoken truth behind all of their lies

Transcends my growth beyond my guise

Uncanny trust flows in my every word

Innocently I desire that my mind could have learned

 

Aimlessly I’m guided by my friends who are so sly

They had lead me to believe I’m really the bad guy

All words they have spoken and all lies I have heard

Induces this anxiety my head has since blurred

 

 

Friends will stand with you for eternity

Though they are not solely your life

So allow them to sustain you

But be free from their ties

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[emipoemi]

You have a good start here. The musicality of the poem gets a bit wonky and/or wordy here and there; your grammar is a bit off or confusing in a couple of places ("intonation for a fool"?...."But never could I believe them TO be cruel"....which ends up being too wordy for the musicality so I would advise instead that it be changed to something along the lines of "But never could deem them cruel" or "But never could I take them to be cruel"); and the message at the end is a bit awkward a) due to the rhythm and structure you set it in stray uncomfortably from the what you have throughout the rest of the stanzas, and b) what you're saying throughout the poem doesn't hit the peaking moment that would justify and ending. It's peaking moment came in the previous stanza, but the kind of peaking that implied there was yet one more stanza to go.....but that stanza kind of falls flat, and fails to deliver. Other than those tidbits, this is fantastic in what it has to say, and how it conveys it. Good start!