The Love Song of Nel

A Poem by Ceuthonymus

Nel is a boy who is a dreamer, but life isn't how he wishes it to be. Notes: Nel=Nil (nothing in latin) Tsubasa=wings And now enjoy

I only watch, as an observer in this world
Looking onward as humanity runs wild
Fighting like wolves
The biggest pack ever, full of hate of each other.

I alone sit in a room
Far from their judgmental gaze
Only incoherent music exists on this low level
With two windows and a door, hiding what is ahead.

The windows, blackened by my own eyes,
Look forward at a world that is aflame
As it rips itself into pieces
But only the tree stands strong

Oh! The tree of hope
It stands erect, either
Reaching for the heavens
Or to fall short and land in hell

I cannot tell what will occur first, or
What is on the other side of this door
That i must not open
Or else burn with my sins

My sin of life
Of breathing the air, which belongs not to i,
But to others,
Those who fight for the good in this godforsaken land

But i cannot
I have lost faith
My room thus no longer high up
In the clouds and in heaven with god

He who praised me above all
And cared for me over all
That is until they came
Those Damnable Humans

As they crawl on this land
That he gave to all
And wishes that we all bow
Our heads in respect to these humans

These humans who destroy
These humans who care not
These humans who sin and sin
And ask to be saved!

Screw them to the sticking point!
I cry out when asked to bow
And god said "fine, be stubborn."
And hurls me down into this lowly plain

To get along with humans
As they stink up all that is good
As they ruin all
And d*mn god's name

As they crucify his son

And here i am
Looking out through two fogged windows
And look at these demons as they run amuck
While the tree stands strong against their waves of madness

The tree, reaching high into the sky
Reaching to its full potential
Giving life to us
As we return the favor and give it life too

And then she comes forth

Forged by the tree itself
As it surpassed all that is good
She walks with authority and purpose
And is fairest of all god's creations

And she beckons me

With her beauty, as
Her hair is as white as snow
And her skin fairer then any before
This beauty comes for me

And yet, i must resist

For i am full of sin
My skin burned and ashen with the tone of grey
My hair black and untamable
My aura turned so vile, she surely will be tainted

And yet, she approaches thee

As if i am appalling
As if i am the syren
When all she is doing is daring me out
To step out of this box

This box where time does not exist
Where one is at peace with oneself
And none shall disturb the peace
Except for oneself

And yet, she beckons me

Do i dare
Live a life?
Do i dare
Carpe Diem?

And yet she tempts me
And she snares me
And she is purist of all god's creations
And she is waiting, for me

So i step out and into her presence
Her hair instantly turned black
But nothing else changes
And into the light i go

It is cold, unlike the darkness
Which is warmer
That is until i have her in my claws
And have tainted the hair

And yet she smiles at me still

My soul is lighter
And yet i have gained one thing
Her
And my soul is alight

Passion and love flood me
And the the air filled with her excusit fragrance
Which she unconsciously unleashes for pure torture
And a wicked, but true smile spread out on that portrait face

God has good taste
And is even a greater painter then Picasso
But all the while i feel bad, i feel bad for her
I believe she shouldn't love me

Why me and no other?
She is after something that exists not
My heart
For i am Nothing and am empty inside

She looks and love me?
Surely, someone else deserves this
For i surely don't
For my sins i cannot atone for

I ponder this
But only thinking
and not daring to say a word
For fear that she may leave

The sun rises higher and higher
The moon have left my side
As my soul companion
And she replaced it

Even when i destroy her purity
She loveth like no other
And could care less
As long as she is happy and content

She walks beside me
Her luscious, silky, black hair floats behind like clouds
While her face radiates like the sun
And her lips, beckoning me for a taste

So i hunger

Her lips tempt me
Yet i dare not touch them
For my lips are of the vilest kind
But she yearns too

So we kiss

And my very soul is sucked out
I am afloat in her hair with passion
She, being my good evil
She, who tempts the fates

So she falls

Into my arm
And i hold on
As chains reach out
To drag her down to hell

So they try

To take her and to defile her
But i break them
As they melt from the strength of my sins
And vanish into the mist

So her life faded

She was dying in my arms
Her hair turned red, a deep red
As deep as my love for her
And all i could do is hold her face

So she smiled

And claimed that everything
Will be fine
That she is ok with this
That she loved me

So she vanished

Into the sky
To become the sun
To light my path
And stay as my soul companion

So god cried

As red tears fell from the heavens
And i felt only his power
He wasn't sad
But these were tears of joy

So i curse

And condemn god's name
As he tries to be a good actor
But he is too see-through
Too shallow to hide the truth

So why should he be happy?
He hath stolen my newly found heart
That she forged in the hole
In my chest

She made me human
She could have saved my very soul
And he is too happy to stop it
For he loves her

He hath taken my heart
My hope, my love
And stomped out the brief candle
Into the snow covered landscape

Now the snow is red
With her blood unnecessarily spilled
With his power and brute hatred for me
This red that taint's what was once pure

My own soul
Black with the misery inwhich i was born with
Cries out to the heavens
Cursing god, and wishing her back

But my cry is unheard
None can understand it
For it is a cry of a demon
That hell will take for destroying her

And then i laugh
For god doth not love me
He love none but his own self
And his best works

Love is empty
Love is cheap
Love is false
Love is only for fools

Fools that see the syren
And to snare the damned
Love is only for fools
Who still think the world is a place of peace

Love is meaningless
If thou love back not
Love, must i go on?
If god hath taken all?

He robbed me of my happiness
Left me in the cold tears
That freeze my bones in bitterness
And take my very heart away

He hath taken everything from me
And i hath done nothing wrong
Never hath i harmed her
As i was full of good intentions

And she too was happy
'til god separated us
I will show him!
I will save her!

So now i march into the valley of death
And return like no other
I will return with her in arms
And my own soul alight once more!

As i run forward
God sends death to end this mission
To chase after me
To eradicate all that opposes his final say

Death is closing in
He is persistent
Always chasing his prey
And i am the prey this time

He comes! He comes for me!
I run into the west
Looking back to see the dark wisps
Cloaking all of him except his wretched eyes, red with her blood

I run forward into the west
To my left i see everyone that has ever existed
Running towards the setting sun
And to my right, i see the march of time, moving to only eternity

Ahead there is a cliff
One that is rugged and cracked
And behind is death's cold embrace
So i charge forward and plunge into the abyss beyond the cliff

I am falling forever
Into complete and total darkness
The rush of the wind stops
And i just hang in the air, in a place where no light shall enter

I am nothing
Made of nothing
Seeing nothing
For i am the definition of nothing

I am trapped
But not in this darkness
In my head and in my mind
That is my prison

So i focus on escaping and saving her
And out comes Tsubasa
My Tsubasa, that is made of black feathers
They glisten and gleam, greased covered from my sins

I fly up and out of the abyss
The grease making the journey difficult though
Higher and higher, closer to the sun
Above the people, the army of time, the cliff, and the abyss

Then i see it, heaven
All white, while i am black
I fly toward it, wishing to be a part of it
To escape the inevitable and be with her once more

But god, the almighty one
Reached down from the heavens with such purity
That it blinded me as he ripped off Tsubasa
Destroying himself in the process

Me and god, god and i, now both fall into the abyss
I have caused god to become a fallen angel
But i still try
Reaching out and hanging onto the cliff

The people and the marchers of time
All fall in after the lord
As i try to escape
Reaching for the disappearing sun

So i wake up

I jolt up
Sweat pouring from my head
And out of the darkness i go
And out into the world i go

Unable to understand any
While i am recognized as a foreigner to all
On this green earth
For i do not belong

Nobody understands me
I am not a higher being
Nor a lower being
I am nothing

Society moves on
Past the room
Past the cliff
Past the tree

And ignore her

As i alone understand me
And i alone must wander
This green earth
'til it turns red with her blood

And she comes back no more.

© 2013 Ceuthonymus

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Reviews

Muse

Wow. This Muse is speechless. A ballad...a rant...a beautiful tribute to God and the human race. We are fallible creatures by design. We curse the very things that we claim to love. Never satisfied, never happy. That's what makes life such a painful journey.

Posted 10 Years Ago

10 Years Ago

Well, thank you for that. Please feel free to read anything else if you are interested. Again, any r.. read more

Sami Khalil

The tree, reaching high into the sky
Reaching to its full potential
Giving life to us
As we return the favor and give it life too

And then she comes forth

Forged by the tree itself