Words will be weapons

This was more just to make a point on such a big issue in today's society. It has become so normal for us to judge without considering the consequences.

I take one look at my reflection and I fill with hatred. All I see are those few painful words, that timeless and forgotten insult, the comment you forgot you made. I hate my eyes, the lashes aren't long enough and eyebrows not "on fleak". I hate my lips, they are not full enough to match unnatural perfection. I hate my hair and how it doesn't sit the way magazines tell me it should. I hate my chest because you told me I looked as though I ran into a brick wall. You laughed as I held tightly onto the sentence you thought was meaningless. It quickly escaped your mind but it attached itself to mine to torture me forever. You don't know the effect of your statements. Now I hate my waist because my guts do not squeeze into an impossible hourglass shape. I hate my legs because I do not have a thigh gap, though society tells me I need one to be attractive. I can't wear tights because you told me it made me look ugly. I can't wear my favourite hoodie because you told me it made me look lazy and that this was not acceptable. I can no longer wear shorts that cover more than a quarter of my legs because you told me it made my appearance worse. I despise dresses and skirts because you told me it made me look fat.
Now here I am, close to being underweight but uncontrollably forcing myself to lower the number on the scale. There are many parts of my body I cannot change but I have control over my weight so I find myself lost in this life consuming eating disorder. I fill with anxiety at the thought of eating and I overflow with fear at the thought of gaining weight. I starve myself but then exercise until I can barely keep myself up. Perhaps this way I won't look fat. Perhaps this way you might think I'm beautiful.
I tell myself you will like me more if I lose weight but I know I'm only lying to myself. You will simply find something else to use as a weapon and I will never truly be happy with my physical being. But as long as I'm lying to myself I will continue to spend every minute thinking of ways to burn calories or holding back the tears because I ate that one small piece of food. I will step on the scale every morning and every night and find joy in the lowering numbers as it creeps closer and closer to the dangers of being underweight. You don't know the harm you have done. So you continue, leaving some poor soul to clean up after your mess. The poor person I will get angry at for having a different opinion to you. The opinion you made me believe as my own. But what does it matter? You don't really care. You will damage every person that your eyes do not desire. I am only one of many people who will no longer value their lives because they do not meet society's checklist. I can only hope that one day you will understand what you are doing and allow the wounds to heal and scars to fade. Maybe then the beauty of happiness won't be so rare and I will smile once again because hate will be replaced with love and words will no longer be your weapon of choice.

Reviews

[Sophia Winters]

Such a powerful piece of writing. Not only because of how you've written it, but the message it conveys. I do agree that words can be used as a weapon.