Madness and Religion

A mentally ill woman joins a cult

 

Madness and Religion

 

                Christina was nine �"years �"old when she read the New Testament. She was given one by her church at a ceremony. She and her mother went to Springfield Presbyterian Church. Her sister Francesca, called Frankie, started going to a different church when she went to D.U. Frankie’s church was the Denver Christian Fellowship. It was a non-denominational church, according to Frankie, and was much more exciting to Christina than the Presbyterian Church.  When Frankie was saddled with her little sister, she took her to church or Bible Talk. Christina really wanted to be baptized like in the New Testament but her mother refused because she was underage. When Christina went to Frankie’s church, she watched the baptisms and how joyful they were. She decided that when she turned eighteen she was going to be baptized in Frankie’s church.

When Christina was seventeen, Frankie called the house and said that she was engaged. Mother was not amused. Frankie said she was going to get married next year. She wanted Christina to be a bride’s maid. Mother gave her permission. Christina was excited. The only time she saw Frankie was if she went to church with her or on holidays and sometimes not even then. Mother visited Frankie’s church once and said it was “zeal without knowledge.” During this year, Christina started going to Frankie’s church more often. She went to the Bible Talk that Frankie and her Fiancé was leading. On occasion, Frankie would invite Christina to a teen or campus event that her church was having, she enjoyed the events. She understood what Mother was talking about. They were a zealous group. They also read the Bible a lot and had studies that a person had to go through before becoming a member. Frankie didn’t pressure Christina because of Mother’s disapproval.

Frankie’s school was so expensive that there was only enough money for an in-state school so Christina chose CU-Boulder. She also applied to CSU but she wanted to go to CU. They had a good music program there. Her voice was really good and worthy of opera. She also played piano and harp. She wanted to major in voice performance and composition. After she was accepted, Christina called Frankie and said that she wanted to study the Bible. Frankie said it would be best to wait until she was moved-in on campus so that Mother would not be an influence. Christina agreed.

When Christina signed up for on-campus housing, there was a triple available and several singles. She took a single because she wanted to focus on school and not her social life. The classes were very challenging. She was enjoying herself. Frankie came over and introduced her to Rose Martin. Rose, Frankie said, would be Christina’s “discipleship partner.”  Rose would study the Bible with her and help her get baptized. Frankie explained that everyone in the church had a discipleship partner to help them be obedient to Jesus. Rose and Christina met once a week and went over studies like: The Word of God where she was challenged to believe that the Bible was from God; Discipleship where she was told about discipleship partners and how everyone is held accountable to be disciples of Jesus; The Church which is the Body of Christ and everyone must go to all meetings of the Body to stay faithful; and The Cross which was the last study and talked about the crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus in gory detail. During this time, Christina met a good number of students from the campus ministry. She had to really be disciplined with her time because there were a lot of meetings that she was expected to go to. Every day of the week except Mondays was devoted to a meeting, bible talk, or devotional. On a Sunday, Christina was baptized by Frankie. She was so excited. She hoped that this would bring her and Frankie closer together. She loved that she got baptized in a church that follows the Bible.

After her baptism Rose said that her first forty days were crucial. Just like Jesus spent forty days in the desert before he started his ministry; she would need to learn new challenges as well. Christina was challenged to tithe. Christina said she didn’t have any money to tithe except the money Mother gave her. Rose became stern and talked about the widow with two coins and how she gave all she had to the church.  Christina would have to cut back on her coffee runs but decided to give ten dollars a week to the church. Rose challenged Christina to get a part-time job. She wondered how she was  supposed to squeeze that in, but she didn’t say anything. Then Rose challenged Christina to bring visitors to church. She cited the scripture that talked about the ten talents and that each disciple needed to be fruitful or they would be thrown in the lake of fire. Rose asked Christina daily about sharing her faith and inviting visitors. Christina did invite people but she wasn’t getting any takers. Finally , Rose decided to take Christina with her sharing in the campus cafeteria. The campus ministry had an office on campus called “Campus Advance” where they did a Bible study and other social activities. Rose took her there. The pressure to produce was strong and Christina wanted to ask Mother about it.

Between church and school, Christina was exhausted but got straight A’s her first year. She also brought to church a girl named Joy whom she baptized. She should have been happy but she started to have depressions. She was challenged to be joyful at church, but she couldn’t help but cry sometimes. Rose did a study on her attitude and Christina tried really hard. This went on for six months until Christina said she needed to see a counselor. Rose discouraged it because she said that she just had the “baby Christian blues” and psychology is just a worldly way of dealing with spiritual problems. She just needed to pray and read the Bible more. Christina’s mood worsened. She read books in the Bible like Jeremiah and Lamentations and Revelation. She started missing class and slept in all day. She stopped bathing and slept in the same clothes for days.  She stopped going to church and called Mother. Mother was alarmed and went on campus. Joy and Rose stopped by but Christina’s room door was locked. Mother had the R.A. open the door. Mother couldn’t wake Christina up so the R.A. called 911. She was unconscious and had swallowed two bottles of sleeping pills. They woke her up and pumped her stomach. When Christina saw mother a few days later; she was in tears. Mother hugged her and said,” Christina, honey, you need to leave that church. I lost one daughter to it and I almost lost you.” Her last two words were a sob. “Mom, I need to find out why I am so depressed. I was feeling so good before I got baptized; I just want to get better. ““You need to take a break from this church and get a healthy perspective. “ After a week at the behavioral hospital, Christina seemed to be better. She started feeling really good and then she became delusional. She was cycling into a manic episode and had to be restrained for a few days. She was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder and given Lithium. By the time Christina was discharged it was finals week at school and she had missed all her midterms. She was forced to withdraw with an incomplete so that her grades wouldn’t suffer. Christina moved back in with Mother and decided to take the fall semester off from school. She still wanted to go to church. She was told about fallaways and how if you are a fallaway you will go to hell. Frankie stopped by and offered to take her to church. Mother was very upset about it. She said that Christina was in a fragile state of mind and shouldn’t go to church right now. Frankie backed off and said when she was ready; Christina could come back to church.

In the next several weeks, Christina got acclimated to her medication. She felt better as time went on. She really wanted to go back to church. She called Frankie who arranged for her to room with some girls in town. It was temporary until she was back on campus. Rose stopped by and so did Joy. Mother was frantic. She was upset that Christina had moved out. While Christina was recuperating, Mother did some research about Denver Christian Fellowship or DCF as it was called. She found out that it was called a cult by some ex-members. They said it was controlling and said that if you left the church you would be going to hell even if you went to another church. Mother contemplated doing and exit-counseling for Christina but she thought it might be too drastic a step because of Christina’s mental illness.

After going to church a few times and attending Bible Talk and devotional with the Single’s Ministry, Frankie took Christina aside and told her she would be having a study with Richard Lamb, the pastor of DCF. To prepare, Frankie gave Christina a few tapes of his sermons. One was entitled “Spiritual healing” another, “The Psychiatry Hoax” and another “There is no Mental Illness”. Christina listened to the tapes and was confused. She was going to have to talk to Mr. Lamb about all this. The meeting was on a Saturday morning at the home of Richard Lamb. It was huge. It was in Highlands Ranch, a wealthy neighborhood. Christina was nervous. Frankie told her not to be, that Mr. Lamb was concerned about her. Frankie and Christina waited at the front door when it opened and Mrs. Lamb welcomed them in. A brunch spread was laid out and the Lambs invited them to get something to eat. As they ate Rich (as he liked to be called) talked about his background and how he started DCF. He was from South Carolina originally and was a preacher in the Church of Christ. He came up with discipleship partners and other theological points while in Texas. He moved to Denver and started his own church here. “I listened to your sermons on mental illness. So you don’t believe in psychology?” Christina asked. Frankie shot her a strange look. “I believe in spiritual healing. Like the bleeding woman who was healed by the touch of Jesus. (Mt 9:20)  You don’t need pills; you need Jesus, Christina. There’s another scripture where a man was healed by the anointing of oil by his brothers. (James 5:14)  You see you need to have faith and that faith will heal you. Emotional Disorders like Bipolar Disorder mean that there is an imbalance of the spirit. Praying and seeking God through His word will right that imbalance. After they ate Rich encouraged everyone to encircle Christina and put their hand on her head. He took some olive oil and anointed Christina’s head. They prayed for several minutes. What Rich said felt right to Christina. The lithium she was taking sometimes made her feel tired and loopy. Her depressions and manias stopped but she found it hard to read or sing. She didn’t feel like herself. She went home and decided not to take her medication anymore. After a week she felt a lot better. Her energy was back and she wanted to practice singing and read books. After a couple weeks she felt even better. She was hearing God speaking to her. She got up at dawn and prayed for two hours every day. She spent the night reading her Bible and slept only two hours in the morning. She felt the joy of the Holy Spirit more and more. She felt that it was right to stop her medication. One Sunday morning, Christina got up early and made everyone pancakes. She was very happy. God was telling her to be joyful. They went to church and at first things were normal. During the singing, Christina felt really happy. It scared Frankie and Rose. She started singing loudly and dancing. Frankie whispered to her to calm down. Then God said she needed to go up front and take her clothes off. Christina was scared. If she didn’t do what God said she would be struck down. She went up front and took her clothes off. Security finally came and whisked her away. By then Christina was shouting and singing incoherently. An ambulance came and strapped her to a gurney. Frankie was mortified. She collected Christina’s clothes and followed the ambulance. When she got to the hospital she was told that she couldn’t visit Christina unless she left her name on a list. She gave Christina’s clothes to the nurse and went home. She called Mother.

Mother went to the hospital the next day but was told that according to HIPPA laws she would have to wait until Christina could contact her. Christina was put in isolation for a week until the Haldol and Lithium in her system calmed her down. She was moved to the security ward after that. A week after that; she called Mother. Mother came right after she received a call from Christina.

“They had to give me an IV for my medication because I didn’t want to take it. “

“Why?”

“I was told by the Pastor that I should rely on God and not pills”

“Christina, that’s crazy. You have an illness. If you had Diabetes would he say the same thing?”

“The nurse said they could get a court order and that I couldn’t be discharged if I kept refusing my medication.”

“I’m confused. If God loves me then why do I have to take medication?”

“God loves you, honey. You have an illness. People get sick, they get diabetes, cancer. God still loves them. “

“I don’t want to be in the hospital again. I will take my medication. What if I fall away from church? Will I go to hell?”

“DCF is not the only church in town. They don’t have a monopoly on salvation, Christina.”

“They drill it in your head, ‘one Lord, one faith, one baptism’ Eph 4:5. Fallaways go to hell. No other church has salvation right. I mean it’s hard to ignore. “

“Christina, it’s zeal without knowledge. They are trying to manipulate you to fill their attendance rolls and line their pockets with your money. “

“You have a brain illness. The chemicals in your brain are off. You need medication to balance them. You need to take the medication, Christina. “

“I need to talk to Frankie.”

Mother sighed. “I’ll let her know you are here.” They hugged and Mother left.

 

Frankie got Christina’s call and came over right away. She had a letter from DCF that she had to pass on to her anyway. Frankie and her husband were in training to lead a mission team to London next year. This whole business with Christina was embarrassing. She had such high hopes for Christina but she wasn’t spiritually able to handle being in the church. The letter would explain that.

“Frankie!” Christina yelled across the day room of the psych ward.

“Hi Christina.” Frankie smiled and hugged her.

“ I have a letter for you from Pastor Rich.”

“Oh? Let me read it.” Frankie gave it to her.

Christina read the letter. It referenced Matthew 18 and I Corinthians. It basically said that she was no longer a member of DCF and that the church waives any responsibility for her from this date forward. “So, do you agree with this, Frankie?” Christina asked with a sob.

“Christina, you are in sin right now. You went of the medication, yes, but you were possessed by a demon. You have some hidden sin and it’s not good for you to be around believers.”

“Frankie, I’m your sister. I have an illness. You are just going to leave me and treat me like a tax collector?”

“Christina, I can’t talk to you anymore. Unless the sin in you is gone. You can come back but only when the sin is gone. “

“Frankie!”
“I have to go. Bye” Frankie got up and walked out the door.

Christina sat down and cried. She was going to hell. She was in sin. If she took the medication she was going to hell. If she didn’t take the medication she would kill herself in a manic or depressive state and got to hell. She was condemned no matter what she did. She cried and cried. She was so upset that the nurse had to put her in isolation. Mother came to visit and was told what happened that Frankie came by and Christina got upset. Christina was suicidal. She talked to a counselor and showed her the letter from the church. She explained her despair to the counselor. The counselor determined that Christina would have to stay until she worked out these feelings of suicide. Over the next several weeks, Christina was convinced that she wasn’t going to hell because the church kicked her out and that she needed to take her meds to stay healthy. At that point she went home with Mother.

                Mother was furious when Christina showed her the letter. Christina told her that this was what caused her to be suicidal. Christina had now missed two semesters of school. That tuition was wasted. She had no idea when she was going back to school. Mother sought some advice from and ex-member group. They suggested that she sue DCF for damages and negligence. Christina agreed. Mother found a lawyer and filed a law suit against DCF for 500,000 dollars. DCF responded with a letter stating no wrong doing and an offer of a settlement. Mother decided to take the settlement. Her lawyer thought it might be difficult to find DCF responsible. Later next year, with the settlement money, Christina went back to

school. At her Mother’s church, Christina developed a healthy view of God and continued a relationship with Him.