Is This The Price I Have To Pay

 Is this the price I have to pay for the time I've wasted. 

 Just thinking about the things I've done, the crying, the hurting and all the fun.

 

 Now its just me and my guilt behind these walls of emptiness I was forced to build. 

 Everything's gone including my pride with reality smacking me right in the face. 

 I asked myself why I lived for the drugs, I guess I was weak unable to be strong.

 

 My feelings were lost unable to be shown. As I look at my past it's easy to see the fear 

 that I have unable to be me. 

 Do I go and complain with the same sad story no I just keep it locked inside. 

 I don't know who is real or fake, all I see is this depression on my face. 

 Help me find a friend that's real or show me a sign of someone that's already there, but  am  I just too blind to see, or is that my fate has been chosen and the world has already 

 closed its doors on me. 

 Years and years of suffering and yet I can't seem to understand why God has chosen this 

 hell forsaken fate for me.  

 Divided between two lives, desperately trying to let go of the other, forced to remember 

 the things done to me as a child, forced to remember my happiness and the sadness that  came after. 

 It clouds my mind like a disease and its killing me that I have to live with this  insanity, wondering how my life would of been if I took the other road 

Author's Note

ignore grammar problems

Reviews

[Srchaud]

I think the line last line is the most poweful and to me thats what makes this a good read. Dont we all wonder what it would have been like to take the other road.
I know this poem is about personal pain but in a way i think its more its about regret. Its about anyone who ever regretted something. To have that moment of weakness, that guilt to not be the person you should have been.
Your title says a lot and ties well with the last line. to many regret is unfair, no one wants to suffers the outcome but ask do we deserve what we get.
Maybe I am all wrong. I get the top layer of the poem and what it means but at the core in the depths of the words its about all of us.