My Love For You Still Exists

My Love For You Still Exists

A Story by Chellie

It has been three years since I have last seen him, and yet memories of him still linger within my heart. I just can�t stop loving him that easily. Three years is not nearly long enough. I am not sure why he left me. I didn�t want to be in a place with


It has been three years since I have last seen him, and yet memories of him still linger within my heart. I just can’t stop loving him that easily. Three years is not nearly long enough. My friends say to just get over him, and move on, but they don’t know how hard it is to get over him. To not think about him everyday and wonder what he is doing at this very moment, or even who he is with. They don’t know what true love feels like. They don’t know what it feels like to get your heart broken. They don’t know. They just don’t know. I keep telling myself that, but then again, most of my friends are engaged to be married, so maybe they do know what it feels like to be in love. But if that’s so, then why can’t they understand what I am gong through? I guess it could be because none of them has ever broken up or apart fomr their partner. I am the only one left in my group without someone to love.

Yes three years ago, to this day, he left me. He called me to our favorite spot; a beautiful field, where at night we would look up at the stars. It was always such a beautiful scene, and just the feeling of being with him, lying on his chest made it that more magical. I was so in love, and I long for that feeling again. The feeling I got when I looked into his gorgeous crimson eyes, or when he would hold me in a tight embrace. The kisses that were ever so soft, yet rough at the same time; that made my heart melt. His skin was soft to the touch, and I would often spend hours upon hours stroking his hair. And just the feeling that I got when I was around him; it was always so warm. His body seemed to radiate heat, and if I was anywhere near him, I could feel it. I loved that feeling, and I would do anything to get it back.

I am not sure why he left me, and especially in that spot. He just called me out there one night, and told me that we couldn’t be together anymore. When I asked him why, he told me that he didn’t love me, and that he never had. Of course my first reaction was to cry and ask him why he would tell me this. Why would he lead me on like that for all these years?  I probably would have believed him if I wouldn’t have looked at his eyes. His eyes were never able to hide the emotions that his face was. I was always able to read his emotions like a book, and he thought that an emotionless face would mask it. What I saw in his eyes, is an emotion that I had never seen from him before. I saw pain. Not pain as in he was hurt, but pain as in his heart was aching and that he was doing this for the wrong reason. I could tell that he didn’t want to do this, and it was killing me watching him stand there and do this to me. His hands were balled into fists and were shaking slightly. His body seemed very stiff. He was forcing himself to do this; why I would probably never know. He stared right back at me, his eyes full of emotion. He never gave me an answer to my question. So I fell to my knees and sobbed as he turned and walked away. As I let out a loud sob I saw him wince. What made me more determined that he really did love me is what I found.

I had always noticed that he wore a small necklace, and when I had asked him what it was, he told me it was a tear gym. It was a gift from his mother when he was a baby, and he had kept it all these years. He never told me anything about his past, so I didn’t ask, knowing he wouldn’t tell me anyway. But on the day he left me, I found something that he had left behind. I had seen something small and sparkly fall from his body. I waited for him to be totally gone until I had went over to it. I am positive that he didn’t think I saw it, because if he did, he probably would have picked it up before I could get to it. I got up and walked over to the small object. Picking it up, I examined it. It was a tear gym, but it wasn’t the one that he always wore, this one was red, like his eyes, or like it had been tainted in blood. It was beautiful. It was his tear gym. He was crying, and over me.

That night, I made his tear gym into a necklace just like his, and I wore it. I have never taken it off to this day. After he left me, I decided to move. I didn’t want to be in a place with memories full of him. So I moved to America, and three years later, I find myself longing to be back in Japan. I don’t belong in America. Japan is my home, and where my heart is. So I decided to move back. Not to find him, but to go home. All I wanted was to go home.

So after telling my friends goodbye and good luck with there marriages, I was on my way back to my home. The whole flight back home, I thought of him. Maybe I would accidentally run into him. Maybe he would know that I was back, and come to see me? Why was I thinking these thoughts? I am coming back to my home, not to him. But as much as I tried, I just couldn’t get him out of my head.

When I arrived, I went to my apartment. It was a good thing I called and asked if it was available for rent, or I would have been homeless. After I was all settled in, I decided to take a walk around the area and see what has changed. Surprisingly I still remembered my way around. Not much had changed. All my favorite places were still there. The little ice cream shop that I used to go to every Sunday afternoon, the mall that I used to shop at, the club that I would go and sing at. That club brought back memories. That is where I first met him.


I was singing, for tips, because I needed the money. He was in there with his friends. I could tell that he didn’t want to be there, so I decided to sing to him. It was love at first sight, and when I walked over to him and started singing to him, this cute blush came over his face. And after that night, I just kept running into him. And pretty soon, we were considered a couple. For 4 years we had been together, and that was the happiest time of my life. As I walked down the street, I kept thinking about him. I was stupid for ever thinking that he would actually stay with me.

That night I couldn’t sleep. I held the tear gym tight in my hands, as I cried for the first time in 3 years. I cried for a long time, until I couldn’t cry anymore. I decided that a walk would be the best thing for me. Long walks at night had always helpped me calm down. So I walked. I did not know where to, but I just walked. The tear gym still being held in my hand. My feet were taking me somewhere. I didn’t know where, and I didn’t recognize this part of town. The buildings were run down, and it looked like a bad area. Then I came to the edge of a forest. I walked in the forest without even hesitating. It was late, and the only light that I had was the light from the moon. I am not sure how long I walked, or how far, but when I cam to a field, my heart sank as I saw what was before me. It was our special field, where we used to lay and watch the stars twinkle in the night sky. I slowly walked all the way to the middle of the field and lied down in the grass. I looked up at the stars. There were just how I remembered them three years ago. Beautiful. I lied there for a long time. At least an hour.

Without even thinking I stood up, and looked around. The wind blew, and it brought chills throughout my whole body. I didn’t even think about bringing a jacket. I didn’t care though, because all I could think about was him. I began to wonder if I was going to go insane, because it bothered me to think about him, but when I didn’t, it bothered me even more. I wanted to see him. I had to see him. But how? I didn’t know where he was. How am I supposed to see him, when I don’t have the slightest clue as to where he is at? Then it hit me. I can call him through telepathy. He was no normal person. He wasn't even a person, but a demon. He could talk through telepathy. That is often how we would talk when we were enjoying the silence.

I thought with all my strength. I told him that if he still loved me, then to come to the field and get me back, and if he didn’t love me, then to just stay away. But I also told him that if he doesn’t love me anymore, then to take all of these memories of him, because I didn’t want them anymore. I didn’t want to be tormented and drove insane by all of my hopes and dreams that he would come back to me. I told him that I still loved him, and that I would take him back without any hesitation. There was no answer, and I looked around to see if he was there. He wasn’t.

So I waited for a few minutes, and when nothing happened I walked away. But just as I started to walk away, someone grabbed me, and took me into a tight embrace. It was strong and warm. I could tell it was a man holding me. And before I could object, or even see who it was, lips came crashing down onto mine. My knees gave out on me, and the only thing holding me up was his embrace. I recognized this whole thing. The way this man kissed me, the way he held me tight and close to his chest. It was him. It was really him. Did he come back for me? If he did, I don’t care why he left. He never has to explain, so long as he is back, that he is holding me in his arms, and that he is kissing me right here and now. After we break the kiss I look up into his eyes. He still had me in his embrace, and my heart was melting from the feeling I get from his body. It makes me feel so warm and loved. He is looking back at me, but instead of having an emotionless face, there is a soft smile on his lips. I smile, with tears of happiness daring to spill from my eyes, as three little words escape his lips. "I love you." He says with a smirk on his face. My heart melted even more as I hear his voice for the first time in three years. Tears roll down my face, and I cry into his chest for a moment, as I try to catch my breath. I look back up into his eyes, and that smirk is still plastered on his lips. I hug him tighter. "I love you too, Hiei."

© 2009 Chellie

Author's Note

So yes, this was the first ever one shot for Yu Yu hakusho that I ever wrote. Just ignore any grammar problems that may be present. This story is like five years old, so it is not as good as my newer ones that I havn't posted yet. There are some things that I would love to go back and change, but I will leave them for now, just to see how this story does. I will probably end up rewriting this whole story in the future.

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i love this story, it is really amazing. when she is in the field waiting to see if he will come back, my eyes were glued to the screen and i was hoping with all my might this story would have a happy ending, and it did so i was really happy about that :D
really good job!

Posted 14 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Wow i love this...its a great story
Great Job

Posted 14 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Aw, that's kinda sweet. Do you have a thing for Hiei or something? hahaha
I'm not really one to drag out love interests, but the dedication of this girl is touching.

Posted 15 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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3 Reviews
Added on June 26, 2008
Last Updated on October 23, 2009




I am a writer of many genres and styles. I love poetry, short stories, and novels. If I had it my way I would spend my days sunning in the pool with a book in my hands. And at night writing till my he.. more..

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