The Creature Always Returns

Two years ago, a monster entered Hugh's life. It's never hurt Hugh- it simply watches him. When the creature's intentions suddenly seem sinister, Hugh is desperate to find a way to get rid of it.

Hugh didn't know when it would return- he just knew it would. Just like the sun returns every morning and the rain eventually falls, the creature always returns to Hugh. Sometimes he would catch a glimpse of its deformed, grotesque head peering in a window. Other times it would hide in his closet, watching. Hugh used to be afraid of it. Now he just acknowledges the creature's appearance. It never comes close enough for Hugh to touch and has never responded to Hugh. It also seems no one else could see it. Not Hugh's wife, Marissa, nor his children.

When it finally returned, Hugh knew something was wrong. The creature was taller than the average man and looked like ground meat formed into something similar in shape to a human. Somehow it looked sad. Hugh had never noticed anything resembling a face on the creature, but today it gave off an unmistakable aura of pity. It stared at Hugh for a few more minutes, then shambled away. Hugh shuddered. Something was wrong with the creature.

Over the next few days, it returned more and more, somehow always sad despite not having a face. One day it entered with four other meaty monsters. Hugh dropped his drink when he saw the others. Glass and water went all over the floor. The creature had never brought others to the house. These ones looked positively crestfallen. Hugh backed up to the counter as the monsters came closer. They surrounded him and simply stared while Hugh nearly had a panic attack. Mankind easily gets into a routine- when that routine is broken, we freak out. The creatures eventually vanished, and Hugh spent the night urgently searching the internet for mentions of the creature. Of course, Hugh had searched the creature years ago- he didn't find much. He was much luckier that night. Internet forums have popped up. He clicked on one and read through it. A lot of people have experienced the same thing. It seems like the creature always ends up bringing others. The others vary in numbers. One person claimed it only brought one, while another said their creature brought eight others. After a few hours of reading, Hugh noticed a deeply unsettling pattern. Every user vanished after a while. They'd be commenting and posting every day, and then they never return. There didn't seem to be any certain timeline, but the fact remained the same: they all suddenly disappeared. Hugh closed out the website, a pit of dread sitting in his stomach.

He couldn't sleep that night.

Or the night after that.

It was torture, waiting for the other boot to drop. He knew something would happen to him- probably something bad, and didn't know when it would happen. He tried to spend his days relaxing, but his nerves wracked him to the point where he got nothing done.

Finally, the day came. Hugh didn't know it would be his last day, but he was anxiously awaiting it. The creature and its band of friends returned. Hugh gasped and ran to his bedroom. They followed. The original creature looked determined and somber. The other four simply looked broken. They cornered him into his bed. The shortest one hung back a little, and another creature embraced it. Hugh tried to get up but found he couldn't move. "I'm sorry, Hughie." One said in a croaky voice. "We all are." The first creature gently put a hand on Hugh's forehead and his eyes closed. 

--

Meanwhile, Hugh's family was sobbing over his corpse. It had been two years since the car crash that put Hugh into a coma, and he was finally dead. They felt guilty for pulling the plug, but it was time. Matilda, Hugh's youngest child, stepped forward. Her cheeks were stained with tears. "I hope Daddy is okay now." She put a hand on his limp hand, and her mother hugged her. "He is. Trust me." The doctor, who had been routinely checking up on Hugh for the long two years, pulled a white sheet over his head.

Author's Note

This is just an idea I've been playing with for a while. Any constructive criticism is welcome. :)

Reviews

[Samuel Dickens]

I think the story is good and written with some skill. Since you asked for constructive criticism, I shall go on and say that there improvements you could make. My first suggestion is to change "these ones" to other wording. I know we say that in conversation, but it doesn't read very well. Watch your tense and keep it consistent. There's room for some tightening of sentences. Overall, it's a very good effort.