that well-hung-over look

My prose was flaccid, a little crass, and lacked clarity and structure.

My characters were about as developed as a third-world country and my analogies were as sophisticated as a bottle of Manischewitz Extra Heavy Malaga wine.

So I holed myself up in an old saltbox house in New Hampshire.

Gained weight, and discovered Zen Buddhism, Marxism, and punk rock.

I was searching for an identity.

Anyone could see that.

But I was so charming about it, that most people forgave me.

When I finally got the courage to begin writing again, this was the only thing I could come up with:

"I’d always been a little behind with losing my baby teeth. My last tooth came out in 7th grade. First-period English. We were watching a movie. I worked that molar until POP! Out it came. I placed it in a napkin and left it behind."

It was gone.

My facility for language.

For forming ideas that assaulted the imagination and offended Goths and Gen Xers at open mike nights.

The gardens had all turned to weeds and the seeds had moved on to more fertile soil.

I went into the kitchen, fixed myself a bowl of Cream of Wheat, folded in some Grape Nuts and a sliced banana, and drizzled some honey over it.

I recalled my final conversation with my father, in which he called my friends "moral degenerates, dope heads, drunks, and psychopaths."

Ironically, it was on All Saints’ Day, which was fitting, considering we were both martyrs.

Reviews

[roarke]

Well, like the old comeback goes: “yeah, but I’ll be sober in the morning…”…. But, yeah, the ravaged look tends to linger and … linger. Write the words, don’t get hung up on the semantics, and them bananas, mostly produce industry hype… and don’t even get me started on martyrs…. Hey, you got this.

[John Sullivan]

"Gained weight, and discovered Zen Buddhism, Marxism, and punk rock. I was searching for an identity..."

Feel this.

Maybe we're all martyrs on our personal little crosses

[Philip Gaber]

We are, for sure. My cross is made of recycled popsicle sticks. I don't even know what means.

[John Sullivan]

Fair enough. Spirituality on the mind these days. While I'm iffy on Marxism (it's great in theory) I've been through my Zen phases and love my punk rock music. Gonna go listen to Fugazi. Cheers.

[Philip Gaber]

It is great in theory. But I just wish we could get together as a country and try it out for a year. Take it for a test drive. Then we can try something else. Why not?

[John Sullivan]

Heard! I remember when the universal basic income conversation was happening... I dunno, I can't help but think as an American... well, you know. Trillions on "defense," corporate lobby-ism, etc... special interests and the such. I like Bernie myself.

[Philip Gaber]

I used to...but he and the Squad disappointed me. So I'm a man without a political party, searching for whatever.

[John Sullivan]

Heard. He's the best of the bunch. I mean, it's a mud-wrestling match with the two oldest men both to ever do it, doddering and senile. I exercised my right to not vote last time, and I don't see me doing so anytime soon.

[Philip Gaber]

I haven't voted since Obama's 2nd term! I'm taking the Gore Vidal route.