Emotion First

If an eternity could be surpassed and enfinity multiply you'd find the words that i always held tru, time between the minutes, hours, days, mnths, and years are filled with experience and dry heaved tears, space is filled with dreams that didnt come tru and words that didnt get thru, a single song ignites a single memory that catches on and burns down the walls of an emotion first felt, i can only sit and watch as everythig melts, eyes wide i stare as the story of a man unfolds, the flame grows and then goes, it must be over only embers remain, i turn to the dark to walk away, a strong wind mixed with sand push me back to the place i did stand, the debree is lifted by the breeze, a ember is placed in my hand and i am possessed by the emotion that was once felt for the first time its like yesterday when i look in the eye. i finally reliaze its just not time

Reviews

[Miss Prince]

This is good. I like the visual effect of how you formatted the words, and I like how the title actually relates to the poem. Sometimes titles are deceiving. But this one works. And I like it. It's a little long in the sense that you could make a better impact by making it shorter, but it still works. Nice work.

[An Open Venue]

I think your friends are right; you have talent. Your works are in need of brevity (The cutting away of words) to tighten their poetic value or expansion to become stories. I find strong alliteration and vocabulary skills that could be built upon. trust that you reader hears you - say more while explaining less.

Ven