journal entry 10/1/2016

So the last few weeks have been going pretty good.  I feel like me and Kels have gotten closer more friendship wise, I still wish we could be more because she's the only person who makes me feel the way I do.  I love her to death but we have a bond that most people don't even have.  I've tried talking to a few other people but they bored the s**t out of me or just took like hours to reply like damn? a simple hey I'm busy would be nice.  But it's whatever I've got her she's got me and we're happy for the most part.  I've been trying to quit dipping for her and for myself... She keeps me strong and she's good at what she does.  Just got to put this out there but Kels is freaking beautiful like stunning to be exact at least in my eyes she is.  I've been feeling depressed lately even though everything has been going good but I feel like I bother people with my problems so I hold everything inside.  I really don't want to bother her with my stupid little problems,  like I feel like I have let everyone down somehow like I didn't live up to everyone's expectation.  I feel worthless sometimes and can never do anything right.  I'm trying to get back into the whole church thing maybe that'll help bring some comfort who really knows though.  So tonight I'm picking up Kels and we're gonna go chill outside for awhile which will be nice for once,  Just hope it isn't cold asf outside that will really suck well maybe not actually cause she'll maybe want to snuggle haha. I am such a loser lol.  Got to take a shower pick her up and let her drive so I can keep writing.