Slowly

I found some diaries from my adolescence...

Dark hair, dark eyes
She moves gently
Between up and down

In the past
Her heart was pure
In the past
Her soul was gold

Now she thinks in herself:
"When did the loss of innocence begin?"



Slowly...
Without even observing it
She was absorbed by darkness
Surrounded by shadows,
Inhaled in the well...
Slowly

Reviews

[Jeff]

How did I miss this one? This is great. I loved the last stanza.

[.]

losing the innocence ...liked the first stanza was a good solid write

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

haunting veils taste like mystery~ a human riddle ~ heart as riddle~heart riddled~ evocative lovely in form/mood/relation

[...]

. paul said it all ... in arabic they say "shwai-shwai" which means slowly, slowly ... the universe of meaning and thought and life and light and darkness emerges in your words ... they're stunning and they reach the soul in an instant ...

[paul]

you string words together in a very tender flow...
and the long long ago past was nice... before we all were broken...
and we don't observe our own breakage... we don't realize for years until we find ourselselves surrounded by shadows

[Brad]

i know how that taint feels on the ghost of what we once were...brilliant

[Cricket Kidd]

Shivers.
the only line that I think could be revised is "when do the lost of innocence has begun" I can tell what you are trying to say, but it sounds weird.
other than that, I like it!

[Robin]

oooh this is dark, one feels the creep of the shadow .

"inhaled in the well" - wow