Your Faded Light

I hope these trite words reach you.

I write this as both a show of gratitude and an apology.

Thank you for being there for me to help me with my work when I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Thank you for not leaving me when your friends said you should. Thank you for smiling when you should have cried, for laughing when you should have screamed. I know, they’re such cliché phrases that sound trite and pedantic, but they’re true and pure. You made the world so bright, my words pale in comparison. Nothing can replace your smile, and nothing can capture your soul.

I’m sorry that we grew apart. I’m sorry I wasn’t there to say goodbye. I’m sorry I wasn’t at your funeral. I’m sorry that I couldn’t be strong. If there was a phrase stronger than I’m sorry, then I wish you could tell me it. I wish you could let me know that you are next to me as I remember you. Tell me that I’m not writing these words for a corpse, but a liberated soul.

Please read these words, my friend, and remember me, too. There is not a day that I do not think of you and your light that shown so brightly. Your life has affected many, and so has your death. We lit candles for you and watched as the sky grew dark, waiting for the rain to drown our hearts. On that day, the angels cried for you as you returned home. We cried for you as you left ours.

Would the phrases ‘I miss you’ and ‘come back’ matter? They’re spoken from the heart in the simplest way possible. Do they still have the effect they used to? If they don’t, then at least know that I do not lie. My heart is true as are my frail words. So listen to me as I plead for your forgiveness.

I do not want your light to fade.

Author's Note

I wrote this for my friend who recently passed away at the age of fourteen. I miss her so much, and I can't describe how I feel in words.