Her.

A Story by Clyde Elmwood

Im not sure when this all started. at some point in my life, i must have been able to feel and accept love correctly. As far back as i can remember, i'd always live out the really painful, dramatic or emotional moments in my life as if someone were watching, like a movie. i had the vacant stare down, let the eyes well with tears, but only one fell...slowly down a cheek looking out towards a car driving into the sunset. i honestly did things like that my whole life. and now, a single, lonely, heart broken 31 year old man, i can't manage my feelings.i fall in love with nearly every woman i meet. I'm not sure what it is...fear of commitment? fear of being alone? can it be both?

i always thought my life was so crazy, it had to have been a movie shot in secrecy...like that movie, Truman Show. i swore that was happening to me.what else would justify such monumental acts of trying times and heartache? well i found out that my life isn't a movie, I'm just alone.

all i ever wanted was to get the girl at the end of a series of unfortunate events...the girl that wanted me. its a beautiful thing, how love is in the movies. the endless gazes the woman shoots at the man. I've felt that. I've seen several women give me that look. and several of them were also liars.

how do i tell someone that all i want is to be the only man in your life. to ask something so selfish, so self absorbed...who am i to ask that? but why do i feel so entitled to that!? i feel this 2 headed snake of a conundrum slip past my lips in horror that the ears it falls on will turn around and walk away. I'm good enough to love, but never enough to be the only one. I'm not captivating...interesting and genuine. I'm 50% of what you're looking for...the hardest part. the 50% from your romance novels, the romantic comedies, the school girl crush, butterfly in your stomach fluttering so hard you want to vomit on your mary janes kinda 50%.

Just love me and only me until things fade to a black screen, i promise you won't need a sequel.