"The Text Message"

"The Text Message"

A Story by Cody Williams
"

A mysterious Text Message was sent to a young teenage girl...but why does it read RESTRICTED NUMBER?

"

“The Text Message”

By Cody Williams

 

            Natalie stepped out of the shower and put on the dark gray robe. She walked out of the bathroom and into her bed room and pulled the sheets on the bed down to the foot of it. Natalie was sixteen years old. She had long brown hair and brown eyes. She was tall and skinny. She was home alone for the weekend. Her parents went on a cruse to celebrate their tenth year anniversary and her younger brother, Todd, was on a camping trip with a friend.

            She loved the idea of being home alone. It was kind of exciting and liberating for her. This was the first time she would have to take care of herself for more than a day. She grabbed her cell phone and plugged it into the wall to charge. She got into the bed and pulled up the blankets to cover her shoulder. She reached up and turned off the light on her nightstand and lay back down.

            She began to drift off to sleep, and then she could hear her phone vibrate on the night stand. She sat up in the bed and turned on the lamp. She looked over at her digital alarm clock. It read ’12:38’

            “Who could be texting me at this time of the night” She asked herself picking up her purple cell phone looking at the screen. The screen read ‘RESTRICTED NUMBER.’ Curiously she clicked on the touch screen phone and read the text message.

            “I can see you from outside your window” The text message read. Her heart began to beat fast. She ran her hands through her hair and got up from the bed. It really bothered her that she couldn’t recognize the number. She shrugged her shoulders and got back into bed.

            “It must be a wrong number.” She thought to her self dismissing any feeling of fear. She was sure that it was just a wrong number. She plugged the phone back up and placed in on the nightstand. She turned off the lamp and lay back down in bed.

            She heard the phone vibrate again. She turned the lamp back on and picked the phone back up. Once again it read ‘RESTRICTED NUMBER.’ Her hands began to sweat and tremble with fear.

            “Don’t go back to bed! Come out and play with me!” The text read. She stood up from the bed again dropping the phone on the bed and backing up against the wall. She began to see the bushes move from outside the window on the other side of the room. She quickly walked over to the window and looked outside. As far as she could tell nobody was there. The phone began to vibrate again. She slowly backed up to the bed again and grabbed the cell phone. Once again it was the restricted number.

            “I saw you looking for me. You couldn’t see me could you? But believe me, I am STILL out here!” The text message read. She began to jolt with terror. Feeling terrified she used “teenager logic” and against her better judgment decided to text the annyomonous person back.

            “Who is this!!!???” She said also texting it back. She waited for a moment silently for a moment. The phone began to vibrate again. She nervously ran her finger across the screen to unlock it. She clicked on the messages icon on the main screen as beads of sweat began to run down her face. She clicked on the icon that read RESTRICTED NUMBER and opened it.

            “Your worst nightmare!” The text message read. She began to feel sick at the bottom of her stomach. She pressed the REPLY button and began to type.

            “Where are you?” the text read. She pressed the SEND button as her heart began to beat so fast she thought it would explode. The phone began to vibrate again and she unlocked the screen again and read the text message.

            “Outside.” It read. She began typing again.

            “Outside where?” She texted.

            “Outside the window in the living room.” The man replied. She placed the cell phone in the left pocket of her pink pajama bottoms and walked out of her bedroom. She slowly walked down the long dark hallway and down the steps into the living room. She walked over the window and pulled the shades aside. She looked outside for a moment. She didn’t see anything. She walked over to the front door and slipped on her flip flops and opened the door. She reached over and turned on the black light switch turning on the front porch light.

            She walked over the windows out side of the house. Her heart began to beat faster as she began to reach for the shrub in front of her. She began to feel around in the shrub looking for any sign of the person that could have been texting her. Her phone began vibrating once more. She took it out of her pocket and unlocked the screen. She read the text message.

            “Nice try Natalie! But I’m not outside anymore!” The text message read. She shoved the phone into her pocket and ran to the front porch and into the house. She slowly walked up the stairs to her bedroom and quietly walked in the room.

            “There is only one way I can find out where he is.” She said to herself while she reached into her pocket and pulled out her cell phone. She sent him a text message reading ‘J’ and then waited in silence. She heard three beeps come from under her bed. Her heart began to beat faster and faster. She walked over to the bed and got down on the floor. She slowly lifted up the bed skirts and placed her head on the wooden floor. Much to her surprise there was nobody under the bed. Nothing but a cell phone.

            She could hear the closet door began to creep open behind her. She heard the footsteps of a man. She could feel his presence behind her. Her heart began to beat faster and faster.

            “Surprise Natalie.” The man said standing over with a knife in his hand and with a wicked smile on his face.

 

Copyright 2013 by Cody Williams

Courtesy of True Terror Publications

a division of TTP Entertainment

Image by FlamingText.com

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© 2013 Cody Williams


Author's Note

Cody Williams
Leave me a comment and tell me what you think!

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Featured Review

Whereas you paint a thrilling picture for all who've contemplated this scenario I feel that there are a few things you could work on to make further stories like this more appealing to the reader. Firstly, this is not very original so to someone who has watched 'Scream' or 'Blackout' or any of the other stalker killer type movies this pales in comparison and is very near plagiarism. Now, don't get me wrong I'm not saying you don't have talent when it comes to storytelling, just watch out for this. Secondly, in the story you use 'She' so often that when reading it, I felt like closed captions was on in the movie playing in my head. 'She does this, she does that.' The last thing is throughout the beginning you have the reader believing that it is a mystery to who is texting 'Natalie' but then you state this, "“Outside the window in the living room.” The man replied. " with no further explanation that it is indeed, a man. Thanks for sending it my way, I hope that my review will help you with further writing projects and I hope that my suggestions and critics won't be taken too negatively as I have read other stories that you have written with a more favorable response.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Cody Williams

10 Years Ago

Thanks for reading Astro!

-CW
Astro

10 Years Ago

I've been away, so time to repay the kindness of my own readers.



Reviews

Classic horror tale. Nice beginning, but as it progresses it becomes almost painfully obvious. The young girl in the story is painfully stupid, and we know as soon as she goes outside like an idiot that she is doomed, poor kid. The use of the cell phone is a clever touch.


Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Cody Williams

10 Years Ago

Thanks for the review!

-CW
A little Wait Until Darkish....suspenseful Cody
Some fine tuning is needed but a decent short story that kept my interest...
Good lead up to the climax
or beginning of a thriller...
which one is it?
Nice job..
allen

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Cody Williams

10 Years Ago

Allen, thanks for the review! It's more of a incomplete story. There will be more added to it in the.. read more
⊰ℛℛ⊱
Hi Cody:
I wasn't going to mention this before, but it's appeared several times now, at the bottom of your posts. Some kind of HTML that is not converting properly,
http://www.writerscafe.org/uploads/rte/c09f3ccd8a6cf0dfd97e4090e46b916f.png

As for the story, it's creepy but reminiscent of several slashers. If there really was a stalker, she coulda called 911 and explained what was happening, =AND= let them know that this stranger knows her first name and that she never mentioned it to him.

For her to open the window to look for him, leave it open, then open the front door to look for him and then leave it additionally open is just an invitation for disaster. :D

http://youtube.googleapis.com/v/jfoCV1cZFTs

The police woulda said, DO NOT open your door, make sure all your windows are locked, stay inside, we're sending someone over to investigate. Don't let anyone in.


Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Cody Williams

10 Years Ago

Hey dw17, thanks for the review! I wrote the story with something different in mind, but after "The .. read more
dw817

10 Years Ago

Hi CW. You are welcome to have a nice copyright saved as a single image to bypass all the HTML codin.. read more
My only suggestion for this chilly little tale would be perhaps to move into the story sooner - I know we want to get our character described to our reader - but this can be done throughout the piece

Natalie was sixteen years old. She had long brown hair and brown eyes. She was tall and skinny. She was home alone for the weekend. Her parents went on a cruse to celebrate their tenth year anniversary and her younger brother, Todd, was on a camping trip with a friend.

This part above could be interspersed through the story - like when she steps out of the shower - she could put a robe over her tall willowy frame and brush a lock of sable hair out of her deep amber eyes. There you have her description. Then - she loved being sixteen and flying solo at home while her parents were celebrating their anniversary. - then you could introduce that her brother was also gone. Up to you - its a small tweak that keeps the reader in the story and still sets your character - letting you take us right to the action.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Cody Williams

10 Years Ago

Thanks for the review!

-CW
[send message][befriend] Subscribe
ron
Ok that was not fare leaving us hanging like that...lol. This had me on the edge of my seat. She is very brave and stupid for how she handeled that. I would have at least got something to protect my self. But this is your story and it a very good one.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Cody Williams

10 Years Ago

Thanks for the review!

-CW
ron

10 Years Ago

Your welcome.
A very well written & enjoyable read. Great work. :)

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Cody Williams

10 Years Ago

Thanks for the review!

-CW
Nice suspense created here, Cody. I didn't picture this kind of an end to the story, though, which again means you have the ability to surprise the readers.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Cody Williams

10 Years Ago

Thanks so much for the review!

-CW
I think this is nice... But me as a teenage i cant use that logic. Lol..

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Cody Williams

10 Years Ago

Lol, thanks for the review! This is the reason teenage girls always die in horror films:)
ayosonolowo

10 Years Ago

Hahahah, great one you're welcome
Holy shiz you had me the whole time and I like how you mention the fact that she used "teenage logic". Lol awesome job :)

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Cody Williams

10 Years Ago

Thanks for the review!

-CW
Good suspense, Cody. The wimp in me wonders why on Earth she wouldn't call the cops!?!?. I think it's a great start. There is a lot of info in the first paragraph that I feel could be revealed through description, for example-her looks.. Maybe the explanation of where her brother is could come from the guy texting-leaving her wonder how he knows so much or if he's a friend of her brother's pranking her. Maybe that would give her a reason to go outside, she'd be spooked but not exactly afraid. Just some thoughts! :)
Good job, Cody! I enjoyed this!

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Cody Williams

10 Years Ago

Thanks for the review! The original idea for the story was a little different. It had a lot more to .. read more
Sharon Kim

10 Years Ago

You're welcome! Send me a read request when you do, I'd love to read it! I'll be sure to check out .. read more

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35 Reviews
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Shelved in 7 Libraries
Added on August 13, 2013
Last Updated on November 21, 2013
Tags: horror, science fiction, fiction, gothic, literature, short story, mortality, life, death, Cody Williams

Author

Cody Williams
Cody Williams

Elizabethton, TN



About
I am in my second year at Carson-Newman University in Jefferson City, Tennessee were I major in instrumental music education and minor in English. My passions include playing the trombone/euphonium an.. more..

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