You knew

Another attempt on a poem that rhymes

 Why didnt you tell me?

Were you trying to save me?

Well nice job m**********r

Now im numb inside

Sitting on the floor beside

This razor blade which tells me to confide

For its my only friend

In this bullshit I have to call the end

 

What about you?

Werent you my friend?

In the end, you didnt save me

All you did was blame me

Watched me as i bid my time

Knowing that the time was right!

You didnt even help me up

When i lost that f*****g fight

 

And yet i still trusted you

Told you all the things that made me a fool

You saw me going down that drain

Taking long walks

Lost in my thoughts

There in the heavy rain

She broke my heart

And left me to die

You knew this was to be

Yet you didnt tell it to me

So how can i confide

When you dont ever tell me the f*****g truth?

It actually hurts less when it is told

How could I have ever seen you so bold?

 

Now writing this i feel f*****g bad

Worse than i already had

So much, im cutting myself

And crying, on this stupid paper

Wishing while im dying

You could have saved me from all this

Could have told me something better than

Ingorance is a bliss

Im sorry im just taking this s**t way to far

but it hurts when your life falls apart

You know what?

Forget i said this s**t

Live your live in bliss

It's alright, man,

I'm only bleeding, man.

Stay hungry, stay free,

And do the best you can.

 

Author's Note

Please review honestly thanks!

Reviews

[E-man]

I agree with the poeticpiers this was an EPIC fail at trying to rhyme im sorry im saying this but im being honest the rhyme scheme well i couldnt find one u rhymed here and there but no scheme to it I love a poem that can rhyme it sounds great but only when it flows through and has some kind of rhythm to it and flows out effortlessly as for the poem itself had some meaning to it but it got overshadowed by your foul language that didnt emphesize a point and made it seem like you were just whinning bout someone and couldnt take the responsibility for yourself seems like you tried to focus on rhyme also and lost meaning a bit and like i said the rhyme was an epic fail you tried to hard and it is noted by the poem, i know you can write better than this

[Poeticpiers]

inconsistent rhyme scheme meter totally ignored, the use of foul language does not improve it in any way
The theme is well thought out but.Would be improved with a little more discipline.there is more to writing poetry than rhyming

[ruth]

ok.. whats going on?