Give and Take

The cold wind chills me to the bone

straight to the marrow.

I shiver for hours on end

even after coming inside

to the warm, cozy

air.

Two sleeping pills, one solitary swift hit of the

scotch, but

no tears yet

even though I did try

my hardest

to cry.

because

well

I've heard it all before

I've heard you tell me that same sad story

over and over and over

again, each time it differs

not at all

except I am never prepared for

when you're going to tell me

again.

You catch me completely

off guard, intendedly

so,

in hopes that I will

cry.

This time, I am lucky though

that I had

the sleeping pills and only one

shot of scotch

left (a bottle would have done me in)

for I wasn't anticipating my heart dying

tonight.

If not for that,

I may have drowned

myself

in a puddle of my own

tears and

vomit and

cursing.